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Skiing Versus Snowboarding: Which Is King of the Sliding Sports?

Skiing Versus Snowboarding: Which Is King of the Sliding Sports?

By Janet Manley

You're going on a school trip or family vacay to the Rockies! BUT, should you rent a snowboard or skis? Is snowboarding cooler? Is skiing more difficult? (Yes and yes.) More importantly, which one allows you to zoom around shamelessly with a portable boot heater all day? We dive into the pros and cons:
  • Snowboarding has tastier tricks (on the menu: a pop tart, chicken salad, or beef carpaccio).
  • Skiing has tastier instructor names (if you like Hans-on lessons).
  • Skiing has tight pants and isn’t afraid to show it.
  • Snowboarding has its butt hanging out, and isn't afraid to show it.
  • Famous snowboarders include Cameron Diaz, Sean White, and unsuspecting patio furniture.
  • Famous skiers include Kate Hudson, Robert Redford, and Robert Redford's Dale of Norway sweater.
  • Ski boots have rear entry, aka, hello, a FIRE ESCAPE for the hottest skiers.
  • It's easier to ride a T-bar on skis. It's easier to not knacker yourself in the terrain park on a snowboard.
  • Snowboarders spend half their day sitting on their butts in the snow. Skiers spend half their day in turtlenecks.
  • A popular snowboarding maneuver is the “scorpion,” where you fall forward on your stomach and hit yourself in the back of the head with your own snowboard.
  • A popular skiing maneuver is the "Arizonan," where an out-of-towner is burned to a crisp red between the goggles and hat by the sun.
  • Skier right-of-way implies that you give way to anyone in front of you.
  • Snowboard right-of-way implies that you are King Right, and you are boarding down King’s Way.
  • Snowboarding is a sister sport to surfing.
  • Skiing is a sister sport to fondue eating.
  • Skiing is old, like pickles.
  • Snowboarding is new, like cucumbers.
  • Snowboard boots are more comfy than ski boots.
  • Snowboarders will never forgive you for wearing a portable boot heater. (Skiers will be able to tell you the best model.)
  • Snowboards can be awkward on chairlifts.
  • Skis can be awkward in family photos.
  • Snowboarders can become confused by "Tips up!" signs on chairlifts (because WHICH TIP?!)
  • Skiers can become confused by "black run" signs (because I HAVEN’T EARNED MY BLACK BELT YET!)
  • Snowboarders shred.
  • Skiers boop-de-boop.
  • Skiers have POLES.
  • Snowboarders don't have POLES, yo.
  • Skiing is NEONNEONNEONNEONNEONNEON!
  • Snowboarding is...

P L A I D
L A I D P
A I D P L
I D P L A
D P L A I

  • But turkey chilli tastes just as good whether you’re a skier or snowboarder.

And the winner is …

SKIING! If you don’t like your knees very much.
SNOWBOARDING! If you think butts should hang free.

What is the word on the great ski divide, Sparklers?

Topics: Life
Tags: skiing, winter sports, snowboarding, pros and cons

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About the Author
Janet Manley

Janet is the offspring of a mid-sized kangaroo and a stately gum tree. She grew up under a hole in the ozone layer, which probably means she can survive in outer space. She tweets @janetmanley

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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