Where to Find Good Music
How do I find good music and become a music snob?
There are plenty of good websites out there with great music on them! Here are some of my favorites—find something you like and snob it up!
Hey, there's this bird that keeps tapping on my window every morning while I'm trying to sleep. It's been doing the same thing on my mom's window, too. It's getting really, REALLY annoying, almost to the point where I am considering shooting the darn thing, but that would go against all my moral principles and I would probably feel like crawling into a hobbit-hole and dying should I do such a thing. Anyway, is there some HUMANE way to get it to stop?
The key here is to fight fire with fire. I’ve been told this phrase is an “analogy,” a word I have never heard of and refuse to look up. However, the phrase is clear enough: you need to burn down the forest. All the trees. Burn ‘em down.
Whether you realize it or not, this window pecking is a sign of unrepentant aggression and violence. If the bird had more destructive means, you better believe it would destroy your home and everything you love. You have to take out its home in a preemptive strike. Birds are learning, and their days of playful bird-innocence are soon to be over. Check out this (very real) article I read from a (very real) website: www.truenews.com/birdscaughtsmugglingweaponsgradeunaniumandalsonamecalling
Technically, birds are dinosaurs, or the modern descendant of them. Have you seen Jurassic Park? Those monsters broke Jeff Goldblum’s leg—don’t let these birds Goldblum you!
While we’re on it, I’d like to take a moment and mention some legislature Birdhaters Local 438 and I are pushing forward. Proposition 304 is a proposed NY law to ban birds. Their destruction and wanton disrespect for gravity is over. According to the proposition, birds would be banned from public and private places, punishable by a $250 fine sent to the bird’s mailing address. It’s a small step, but hopefully it will inspire other concerned citizens. Please visit our website for more information: www.nickelback.com.
That concludes the advice for this week. If you are seeking any advice, please leave your question in the comments!