Wow, you guys: have you seen the candy-colored neon nightmare that is the official "Spring Breakers" trailer? This new indie flick by director Harmony Korine has quite the cast—two Disney Channel divas, the ubiquitous James Franco, and a pretty little liar—and it's been getting some serious buzz. For one, it's a major departure from wholesome family fare for stars Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens; for two, audiences at the Venice Film Festival received it with a standing ovation.
Which leads us to believe that the movie is... good? Maybe? Except there's still the small matter of the trailer, with its grimy dubstep soundtrack, which is so ominous and gritty and, y'know, kind of gross. WE DON'T KNOW.
We have questions! Can you help? For instance:
Is "Wake up, little b***h!" considered a socially-acceptable greeting on college campuses?
Why are these girls lying on the floor of a communal shower together? That's a really good way to get athlete's foot... on your face.
If someone told us to rob a gas station and pretend like we were in a video game, we'd be using a slingshot to fling angry birds at the building until it crumbled. (Sorry, not a question. STILL IMPORTANT.)
Can we have a serious conversation about what is going on inside James Franco's mouth?
Did every attendee of this screening at the Venice Film Festival agree with the erudite Mr. Franco that bikinis and big booties are, indeed, what life is all about?
How many butts and guns can they show within a single two-minute span? Is this a world record? Should someone call the Guinness book people to report it?
No, seriously, we need to talk about James Franco's grill. Did the guy eat an entire chrome fender or what?
Are all lady villains required to wear ski masks in that unnerving shade of bubblegum pink?
Does that final, whispered, "Spring break forever" sound threatening to anyone else?
We need your help, Sparklers. DISCUSS. What do you think of the "Spring Breakers" trailer?