The unanimous Declaration of the many united Sparklers of Sparknotes
When in the Course of sparklife, it becomes necessary for Sparklers to create a petition, a decent respect to the opinions of sparkkind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the petition.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Sparklers are created equal, that they are endowed by the Website with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Sparkitors are instituted among them, deriving their just powers from the consent of the Sparklers, --That whenever any Form of Governing of Posting becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Sparklers to ask for altering, abolishion, or reinstitution of posts, and to institute new Posts, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers and details in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Posts long established should not be changed for light and transient causes. But when a long train of missing posts, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such lack of Posts, and to ask anew for the future reinstitution of such posts.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Sparklers; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their current Systems of Sparklife. The history of the present Gary of Sparklife is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over this website. However, we're not talking about Gary. It is the Sparklers wish that posts that have been sorely missed be reinstituted. To prove the absence, let a list of missing posts be given. This lists includes but is not necessarily limited to:
- Dear Albert
- Writer Wars
- Comittee of Cool
- Geek Quiz
- Blogging Harry Potter (or rather, we petition for increased measure thereof)
- Awesome thing of the Week
- willwriteforheart's story Holding On
- My Crush is....
- A Day in the Life of....
- I go to....
- Intern's Pick of the Day
Some of these posts have been absent longer than others. But all Sparklers will agree that most have been absent for far too long.
It has also come to the attention of Sparklers that the Sparkler Posts have decayed in skill and effort. While there is still many a good post present, it is suspected that some Sparklers have been putting a low amount of effort into posts, even reducing them to a picture with a comment, which by the rules of the G.I.U.S., known as the General Internet Uploading Standard, is subject two this ideal; that the Sparklers upload the pictures to another picture website and then post a link in the Open Thread; or that the Sparklers send their pictures to firstname.lastname@example.org that the Sparkitors may upload the image as proud cover for the OT. On behalf of the spark-community, the Sparklers would like to remprimand themselves, to remind themselves and fellow Sparklers to maintain the highest standards during the creation and altering of posts.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of Sparklife, in General Posts, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Sparkitors of the website for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Threads, solemnly publish and declare, ask that all the missing posts be reinstated. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
Pardon my plagiarizing the declaration of independence. Also if you agree, please sign this petition. Thank you for your time. The floor is open for the Sparklers and their opinions.
Originally published on January 25, 2013.