It’s another cold day, and that means you’re continuing to pile on the winter gear before heading out of the house. Yes, head-to-toe ultra-warm garb helps you cope with the cold, but when you're forced to cover every inch of skin each day, winter clothes get super annoying. After months of wearing them, all we want to do is shove them in a closet and hang outside in a bathing suit under a glowing, body-warming sun. Until that glorious day, all we can do is complain about the winter clothes we’re most sick of wearing:
1. Winter boots. After months of wear in wet snow, our fleece-lined boots now make our feet smell every time we trudge home. When we sit on the couch to take them off, the scent of spoiled mozzarella cheese wafts through the air, causing family members and visiting friends to pinch their noses in disgust. Is it time for flip-flops yet?!?!
2. Hats. While hats are essential for keeping our big heads and ears warm as we wait for the bus, it’s disheartening to put them on after spending time blow-drying our hair. We hate that after taking we remove our hat, our hair has not only lost any and all volume, but has gained so much static, it look capable of electrocuting anyone who might decide to run their fingers through it. Good luck with that on Valentine's Day!
3. Gloves. Have you officially spent all your Christmas money replacing the gloves you're constantly losing? Do you desperately steal pairs from your ma or pop? You need gloves to keep your fingers from freezing and falling off, but they're so frustratingly easy to misplace. They fall out of pockets, tumble in between seats, and get left in stores, movie theaters, cars, and lockers. And those clippy things? Forget it! Unless you’re in the first grade, you’ll never live those things down. And tell us, how are you supposed to use your iPhone with gloves on? Fingerless gloves don’t keep you warm enough, and those touch screen gloves don't really work. You're basically stuck removing a glove every time you want to shoot your best friend a whiny text about how your car’s locks froze shut again.
4. Long underwear. Ever notice that the wind can creep right up your boot cut jeans? If so, you probably wear long underwear under your pants so that every inch of your legs is protected. But it’s hard to fit a pair of jeans over a pair of leggings, and we’re so sick of having to dig out our fat pants (bad memories) so that we can actually still move in the 2-3 pairs of pants we wear on an average below-freezing day in the Midwest.
5. Scarves. Sure, they’re cute, and yes, they can be an accessory, but doesn’t it irritate you that if even one sliver of skin on your neck is uncovered, it freezes? Seems a bit ridiculous that our scarves must be the size of blankets to combat the biting wind. Plus, we keep losing them, too!
6. Robes. Even when you get home, it’s still cold enough that you must dress like an Eskimo. Do you bust out a robe with a hood? If so, you are not alone; a lot of cool people got those for Christmas. The big downside with robes is that after cuddling up on the couch drinking tea, you start to overheat and sweat, and you tear off the robe and throw it on the floor during your favorite show. And then your mom throws a fit.
7. Onesies. While totally cute, hilarious, and fun for Saturday night sleepovers with the girls, these things make peeing a 15-minute endeavor.
8. Sweaters. While we like bookish cardigans, it would be nice to be able to wear a t-shirt or a tank top without something wooly on top of it each day. We’re running out of cute sweaters that are clean and aren’t getting those pilly little balls on ‘em.
9. Puffy jackets. All serious people who live in serious winters and are too smart to wear a peacoat every day have invested in a mid- to long-length puffy coat that warms the whole body. They are essentially wearable sleeping bags. While very warm and protective, it’s hard to drive in them, and they take up their own seats at movie theaters. Plus, sometimes we feel like ours make us look like short little sausage ladies.
Which winter clothes are you excited to ditch when Spring comes? How cold is it where you are today?