Last week, the Royal Family unveiled its latest portrait, the first official portrait of Duchess Catherine aka the adorable Kate Middleton. We all know Kate M. to be a gorgeous young woman—shiny locks, glittery eyes, and a beautiful smile. So when we first saw the portrait we were like...
[trying to find something nice to say]
[trying still omg]
[if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all]
[That's what? It's not good! What can you possibly say?]
The Duchess, always a master of grace, said she is thrilled with the portrait, which is, you know, good for her. We are glad she's pleased, really. But, should she sit for another portrait in the future, we have a few tips for her.
DO: Get your hair did. Your hair looks excellent, Mrs. Duchess Princess lady.
DON'T: Tell the artist you want a "natural" look, if he's going to interpret "natural" as Dateline NBC-style age progression. Seriously, you look 20 years older and perhaps 20 pounds heavier than you look in any photo we have ever seen of you. However, we are glad to know that you will age well, not that we had any doubts.
DO: The blue-green blouse is stunning. We heard a rumor it was a navy (and $50!) French Connection top (currently only available in greenish taupe and white), so well done. You truly are the people's princess.
DON'T: Smile like that. You have such a beautiful smile! Either show your teeth or go for glam-serious, but this in-between look does not work for you. Plus, Mr. Artist really took some license with the frown/smile lines. DO NOT WANT.
DO: Stay polite. Either you are the epitome of grace, or you actually like this portrait. Either way, cheerio!
DON'T: Sit for a portrait with this guy again. Or, if you like it, DON'T listen to the haters. Keep calm and carry on, Coolest Duchess Ever.
Sparklers—what are your thoughts? Do you like the portrait? Hate the portrait? Not care at all because you aren't British and they're figureheads without any real power, anyway? Leave your comments below!