As the week’s end approaches, let’s take a moment to dig deep into Friday and appreciate all the little things. Here are reasons to celebrate, delivered to you fresh from the SparkNotes garden.
1. It’s the day after Betty White’s birthday. Yes, I forget to mention Betty White’s 91st birthday yesterday, but I hope she can forgive me.
2. It’s Friday!!! It’s a great day, made even better because Betty White (hopefully) is very forgiving.
3. Lance Armstrong is now a good guy...or maybe he’s still a jerk...whatever. His job is to ride bicycles. Let’s all stop pretending this is important.
4. If you’re going to the movies this weekend please know that Mama is a horror movie, and despite its title, is not a zany Adam Sandler movie about a mother (played by Sandler) who keeps it real.
5. It’s the birthday of A.A. Milne, the creator of Winnie the Pooh! More on that in a later post. Stay tuned!
6. Dating Advice of the Day: The weird guy in your study hall who writes silly poems on his book covers may one day grow up to be a hotshot editor and blogger for an amazing website. Give him a chance. He probably also likes pancakes. Just sayin’....
7. Here’s a poem I wrote for you.
By Daniel Adam Bergstein
As I gaze out the icy window into the dark dark
I whisper to the empty room,
“If I were a My Little Pony, my name would be Phony Tail.”
The room considers.
8. Are you tired of all the sports hoaxes, scandals, and news? That’s why you’re here! Welcome! Pick up your mind cape and meet us on the anti-gravity roof. (Bring your anchor and the smallest bucket you own.)
9. You know what’s awesome? Balloons. You know what’s also awesome? Outer space. You know what’s twice as awesome? NASA is developing balloon homes to be used in outer space! I want mine to be shaped like Spiderman from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!
10. Word of the Day: Sponge. Definition: A type of squishy wood. Example: Look at all those sponges!
11. Just think of how different your life would be without baskets.
12. Love zombies and organizing keys, and still need to decorate for President’s Day? Get this Zombie Mount Rushmore Key Holder.
13. Tomato soup without grilled cheese is like eating raw garbage out of a donkey’s skull. Not recommended.
14. Craft Idea: Use old shoelaces as stealth wind chimes.
15. Stay warm this weekend by wearing layers...of lava.
16. Hasbro is turning the virtual game Tetris into a physical board game. How will they make the lines of blocks disappear? Fire, presumably. Small, contained fire.
17. Happy birthday, Kevin Costner. I fell asleep twice while writing that previous sentence.
18. On this day in 1778, James Cook discovered Hawaii, much to the surprise of the people who were already living there. Cook then discovered the moon. He was pretty good at discovering.
19. The only way you can get a cold is if you think about naked people.
20. Misquoted Movie Quote of the Day: “Bond. My name is Bond. But that’s my last name. My first name is James. All together, it’s James Bond.”
21. Today just might be your lucky day, which is kind of sad as now the remainder of your days will be unlucky. Sorry, sport.
22. Don’t stress about prom. Remember: Prom is just Morp spelled backwards.
23. A great strategy for winning a game of checkers is to say, “This is dumb. Let’s do something else.” And then a few hours later, you run back to the game when your opponent is busy with the Frisbee and you cheat yourself to victory!
24. Don’t stay out too late. But don’t stay in too early, either.
25. Quick Poll: