Because not only do you get to feast your greedy, oddly large eyeballs upon 55 GLORIOUS CELEBRITY SLIDES from last night's Golden Globes, you also get to read witty—nay, brilliant—caption commentary by self-proclaimed king of style, Mr. Dan "Dan" Bergstein. Is this stroke of luck equal to or better than winning the lottery? In almost every single way, no. Not at all. Winning the lotto guarantees you wealth, financial security, and limitless happiness. This slideshow just provides you with a few redundant jokes. BUT STILL, WE POURED OUR WHOLE HEARTS INTO IT, AND IF YOU DON'T LOVE IT MORE THAN YOUR OWN KIN, WE WILL LIKELY BE FIRED AND THEN DIE.
PS. Every single genius comment in this unbelievably good-looking production was written by Dan "Bergstein" Bergstein. I did nothing to aid him except correct his innumerable misspellings of the word "teapot."
And now...on with the show!
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