So you got a college rejection letter in the mail. Awww, shucks. But who needs 'em? There are plenty of reasons to be grateful you didn't get in. Thank your lucky, rejected stars—you're free! And remember, it happens to everyone. Present company included.
- You were pretty sure the teachers were in some sort of weird cult because they all had the exact same haircut.
- All humans have been rejected by something. So not getting rejected would make you not human. And how freaky is that?
- The reading material actually seemed pretty advanced... FOR A SECOND GRADER. GAHAHHAH COME ON NOW, YOU LIKE A CHALLENGE.
- You don't like living in fart sauce. And sorry, but that's exactly what the dorms smelled like.
- Your friend’s friend told you that their friend’s aunt’s cousin’s friend’s friend told your waiter at The Macaroni Grill that the president of the school went almost went to jail for either extortion or some gross sex scandal. Oh well, not your problem!
- Now that you’re not accepted into that pretentious pig sty, you can start being true to yourself again and embrace the part of you whose hobbies actually include eating spoonfuls of peanut butter and chocolate chips and puttng your Corgi in a baby swing, and that you’d rather watch reruns of Even Stevens than read Ayn Rand.
- You heard they have a policy against livestock in the dormitories and sorry but what is up with that?
- That one girl you saw that one time you were visiting—the one in the cafeteria wearing the thing—she gave you the stink eye and you know she was lookin' for trouble.
- Oh, cool, now you get to stop losing sleep wondering if they liked your essay about how your twisting dance style defines you or HAAAATED it. Sounds like they HAAATED IT. And if they didn’t appreciate that brilliant conception, they wouldn’t have appreciated you fully, anyway.
- That school had the worst school color combo. Ugh. Gross. NAAAASTY-PANTS. What? You liked the school colors? NO YOU DID NOT. They look awful on everyone.
- You felt tougher than the football team looked—not a good sign. They might have asked you to be defense mid layer tackle king person, or whatever that position is called.
- Excellent. You just saved your parents $40 grand a year.
- Even though it took all the strengh you have not to fall apart, tryin’ hard to mend the pieces of your broken heart, and even though you spent oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for yourself and you used to cry, now you hold your head up high DID THEY THINK YOU’D CRUMBLE? DID THEY THINK YOU’D LAY DOWN AND DIE? YOU WILL SURVIVE.
Did you get a rejection letter? It's okay, you! We all did! You can vent here!