How To Create An Awesome Alter Ego
Most days, you feel like there could be nothing more brilliant than just being you. But then there are days when you wish there were another version of you, one with a mysterious name, a gorgeous handlebar mustache, and a talent for taming dragons and gorgons. Those are the days when an alter ego would really come in handy.
But who is this other you, shrouded in clouds of misdirection and sparkly magic dust? Do you disappear in a blaze of glory and smoke, or do you go quietly, melting into the shadows of discretion? It can be a confusing web of choices to navigate, so we've provided a few tips to aid you in your creation of your very own Aldofous Firenze (that's my alter ego name, and no, you may not use it).
Have an excellent disguise: Get out that makeup kit and go to town! Transform yourself into a film noir femme fatale, or a toothsome monster with a heart o' gold. Or hide behind a tree. Anything goes as long as you master the art of concealment!
Create a Twitter handle for your alter ego to tweet from: Nothing says "real" these days like social media. To establish that your alter ego is an identity in and of itself, make sure you use an enigmatic handle and post all sorts of cryptic messages, like "the sky is green when the house of Zog is high" and "look to your right."
Spread an urban legend about yourself that turns into a party game: Next time you're at a slumber party with your besties, start to spread your own myth. "Hey guys, have you heard of the game Two Frogs In A Hoop? No? It was created by the Woman Who Knew Too Much. She lived under Maple Bridge. You really haven't heard of that?! It's an urban legend!" Annnnnd, done.
Be a meme: Most of the time, it takes a famous person or a television character to create the latest internet sensation. Occasionally, it's a furry little animal. And sometimes, it's OTHER-you. All you need is an odd picture, creative Photoshopping, some email-blasts, and congrats: you've gone viral.
Choose a Name: Clearly, the key to your alter ego's existence lies in its name. Ignore Shakespeare and his drivel about roses smelling as sweet blah, blah, blah (and for the record, roses smell gross). EVERYTHING is in the name. Who is the you-that-is-not-you? Does she feel like a Phoebe? Is he a timelord with a title that is also a job (aka "The Doctor," "The Master," "The Cinnamon-Maker")? Is IT an alien from outerspace with a moniker that is unpronouncable in English, but basically boils down to "darthvaderismysecondcousin"?
Remember: there's only one you, but that doesn't mean you can't switch things up every once and a while.
Who's your alter ego?