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13 Movies We're NOT Excited For In 2013

13 Movies We're NOT Excited For In 2013

By Scott Greenstone

The MindHut

2013 is going to be a great movie year, we think, but there's a stillborn baby bunny in every litter. Wait, that's horrible. What we meant to say is one out of every three puppies is born with no legs. No, that's almost worse. Here, look, these movies don't look good. Check 'em out.

1. The Last Stand

The title sounds like a 3rd grader tried to write a war story. Johnny Knoxville looks like he's trying to be in The Ringer again in every clip he's in. And Arnold... it's just that now you've been a governor. It feels weird to have you back in film.

2. Jack the Giant Killer

The giants don't look real, and neither does Ewan McGregor. Has he aged at all in the last ten years? Freak. Plus, totally non-medieval haircut on his head.

3. Oz the Great and Powerful

James Franco made this movie iffy. But the forced whimsy made this movie no-y. Though those flying monkeys do like pretty scary.

4. Scary Movie 5

Watch a VHS tape and die already, Scary Movie franchise.

5. The Hangover Part III

No. Please. No more.

6. Despicable Me 2

Two things: 1. Despicable Me was great and needs no sequel. 2. Since Despicable Me, the makers have gone on to make such masterpieces as Hop and The Lorax, which everyone has forgotten about. If this one sucks, it'll tarnish the original.

7. The Smurfs 2

Somebody, somewhere, thinks this is a good idea.

8. 300: Rise of an Empire

When is Hollywood going to learn that in history, there are no prequels?

9. Planes

Now, we'd be willing to give this spinoff of Cars a chance, but for two reasons: it's a spinoff of a Pixar movie that Pixar isn't making, and it was going to be a direct-to-video movie before Disney decided to put it in theaters.

10. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Hollywood returns to kill our hearts a second time with another film adaptation that will probably disregard the books... again. Maybe if we pretend this isn't happening, it won't.

11. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones in 3D

Everybody come on down to your local movie theater, where you can relive the movie that killed Hayden Christensen's acting career and continued a galaxy-wide letdown of already betrayed fans! It'll be fun.

12. Cloudy 2: Revenge of the Leftovers

Has a sequel titled 'Revenge of ___' ever been good? Plus, the villain is the same freaking thing it was the first time.

13. Anchorman 2

When even the presence of Steve Carell can't make you like a trailer, something is horribly, horribly wrong.

Are we wrong? What are you NOT looking forward to in theaters this year?

Topics: Life, Mindhut
Tags: movies, boring things, lists, sequels, bad movies, prequels

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About the Author
Scott Greenstone

I write freely.

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