I was crying alone in my apartment, scooping Chunky Monkey ice cream into my mouth with a gardening spade, when I heard Willow Smith's newest song. It's called "Sugar and Spice," and it's pretty sad. I cried for five more hours, then wrote these helpful observations about the 12-year-old celeb's new turn for the emo. Play the vid below, and tell us what you think.
- So, like a year ago, Willow was whipping her hair back and forth, fighting the forces of hater-ism with swag bangs. Now she's all, "I'm melancholy and I can't do anything right." WHAT HAPPENED, WILLOW??? WHO MADE YOU CUT YOUR HAIR????
- Maybe she's sad because her dad has time to save humanity from aliens, vampire zombies, different aliens, and colossal steampunk spider-robots, but can't seem to make it to her hair-whipping recitals?
- Check the song artwork in the video above. Not only is Willow's hair way short now, but she's also wearing an oversized flannel shirt and combat boots. Either she is planning a sudden career change to "indie lumberjack," or she is affecting some hardcore teenage angst here.
- While we're reading too deeply into things, notice the bottom left corner of the artwork. The wall by her foot says "DUMPER" in black sharpie. Is young Willow coming out of a tragic failed relationship? Or is she just standing in front of the toilet?
- Willow posted the song to Soundcloud under the alias "Arbre Mort," which is French for Dead Tree. Add one more tally to the "hardcore teenage angst" column.
- Some kids listen to Radiohead when they're feeling angsty. Willow takes Radiohead songs and makes them even more accessible to sad sacks of all ages. That piano progression whimpering behind her throughout the whole song comes right from the Radiohead track "Codex," released on their most recent album, King of Limbs. If you listen closely you can even hear frontman Thom Yorke's signature "I'm feeling feelings" moan in the first few seconds, and later on blowing through the background like a winter wind through the music industry's empty wallet.
- "Sugar and Spice" is a misleading name for such a sad ballad. Maybe we can help her rename it. "Doom and Gloom"? "Plaid and Sad"? "Angst and Spanx"?
Help us out.
What would YOU title Willow's sad new song?
What do you think of it?
What do you listen to when you're sad?