Happy 4th of 2013! That sentence sounded funny, but it’s true. You should be screaming with joy and smiling so hard it hurts your knees! Here are the 25 reason to celebrate!
1. It’s the very first Friday of 2013! This is it! This is the Friday by which all others shall be measured. No pressure, but you really don’t want to screw this up.
2. George Lucas got engaged to girlfriend Mellody Hobson! How cute! Judging by the dialogue of the Star Wars prequels, Lucas is obviously a gifted wordman who will no doubt write his own vows, such as: “Sand gets everywhere.” He’s such a romantic.
3. Bioshock Infinite won’t be out until the end of next month, but look at this amazing (and scary) replica of the Sky-Hook! (The Sky-Hook is a grappling hook thing that lets you zoom around the sky.) You can actually own a Sky-Hook! NECA is making the replica available for $80 on the day of the game’s release. Go stand in line now!
4. You don’t have a final exam today!
5. Have your grades been posted yet? Are you nervous? If you fail, will you drop out of school and sell puppet clothes under the bridge? Stop stressing. Your grades will be fine. Everything will be fine. I promise.
6. If you’re going out tonight, bring a warm sweater. If it’s hot where you live, bring a cold, wet sweater.
7. Craft Idea: Paint an old cereal box and put it in a tree. You just made a cozy little house for wind!
8. Let a smile be your umbrella! And let your umbrella be a weapon! And use your hat as a fruit bowl!
9. Scientists say there are over 100 billion planets in our galaxy. The good news, I’m going to name them all! The bad news, the mnemonic device to memorize them is going to be a mouthful. My Very Excellent Mother...
10. Word of the Day: Fastidious. Definition: Being concerned with accuracy and order. A great name for a rapper. Example: Rapper Fastidious is going to be in the new Fast and the Furious movie, naturally.
11. Remember a few years ago when sports were less about hiring and firing and more about points and balls? Me either.
12. Consider This: They don’t sell phone books in bookstores.
13. It’s National Spaghetti Day! Celebrate as hard as you possibly can!
14. It’s James Bond’s birthday! No, not the secret agent. The famous ornithologist, of course! (James Bond is actually the namesake of the fictional James Bond! Confused? Eat spaghetti!)
15. Tomorrow was scientifically designed to be best enjoyed after noon. Plan your sleep accordingly.
16. Finish up any last-minute essays by adding, “So there!” to the end. It’s a classy move that shows your teacher how smart your brain-parts are.
17. Today you should tie your shoes in the most unorthodox manner. (i.e. With noodles.)
18. It’s still National Spaghetti Day! Why are you even reading this? Go make spaghetti! You’re missing it!
19. It still feels like 2012, doesn’t it? Well, except for all the invisible spiders.
20. The days have started to (slowly) get longer. If you listen closely, you can even hear the days grow.
21. Don’t throw out your Christmas tree! Laminate it and use it again next year!
22. If you have to high-five three people at the same time, just hold both hands up and let your friends make the tough decisions.
23. There is something awesome happening with your gums today. Way to go!
24. It’s not not National Spaghetti Day!
25. Quick Poll!