It’s here! It’s finally here! It’s 2013 and that means we’re living in the future...kind of! Did you stay up too late last night? Are you dreading the return to school or work? Relax. There are still reasons to celebrate today. Such s...
1. It’s 2013!!!!
2. According to Back to the Future II, by 2015 flying cars, self-lacing shoes, and hover boards will be common. So this is the year to get all those things perfected!
3. Jetpacks! This is the year we’re all getting jetpacks! I has to be! It just has to!
4. The Mummer’s Parade is happening right now. For those who are unaware, the Mummers parade is a Philadelphia tradition in which thousands of official Mummers strut down the streets wearing bright costumes. The parade is six and half tedious hours, so prepare your boredom goggles!
5. Upon misreading that last item, Stephenie Meyer bought a ticket to Philadelphia while yelling, “Six hours of tedious murmurs!?! I’m happier than a werewolf in a Baby Gap!”
6. Your one day closer to forgetting all the embarrassing stuff you did last year!
7. Making a New Year’s Resolution too difficult often means you won’t follow through. Instead of resolving to lose 20 lbs., resolve to simply eat better. Or resolve to wear the same amount of necklaces as you did last year. That should be an easy one to keep.
8. Now that the holidays are over, you might feel sad, but cheer up because it’ almost Spring! (Not really. But you can lie to your brain if it helps.)
9. Make this year count! Then make it spell and cook. And try to make it paint and kiss, if you can.
10. Number of consecutive days I wore sweatpants as my primary article of clothing this holiday season: 5. Beat that!
11. Craft Idea: Make a scarf out of tissues using staples and origami.
12. HAPPY JANUARY!
13. Wait...how the hell did it turn into Tuesday? Is it really Tuesday? Did we have a Wednesday last week?
14. It might 2013, but that’s just 14,091 in dog years.
15. “Dan. That’s not how dog years work.”
16. Need help with the school work you neglected to do all week? Here’s a possible answer: Rome.
17. If you follow the NFL, you know a lot of coaches got fired this week. Even if you don’t like football, you should walk into a team’s office and they’ll probably interview you for the head coach position. Good luck!
18. When all the holidays are over, remember Toyotathon is always right around the corner! I already put my tree up!
19. Word of the Day: Year. Definition: The time it takes everyone on Earth to forget that the holidays aren't that great. Example: Next year, lets remind ourselves that we don’t need so many eggnog bibs.
20. Did you have eggnog his holiday? Did you know it’s one word? I just found that out. 2013 is looking to be the Year Dan Learns Stuff!!!!
21. Go to bed early tonight so you can get back to a regular sleep schedule. Or stay up all night starting at the ceiling and worrying about love. Either way, have a good night!
22. Eating more than one chocolate covered cherry is the worst idea anyone has ever had. This advice will carry you through the next 365 days.
23. -2,048, -2,049, -2,050! (Sorry. Still counting down from last night.)
24. The Twilight Zone Marathon is still on!!
25 Quick Poll!