12 Things To Be Jazzed About in 2013
Whooooo's ready for 2013?! You'd best get ready, it's nearly here. And if you're not, consider this awesome stuff. It's bound to make you psyched to the max about the new year. 2012, kiss our buns. 2013 is here.
1. Catching Fire. Not actually catching fire. The movie! Our popcorn is getting cold, already, waiting for the second installment in the Hunger Games trilogy.
2. The Comet Of The Century. Now HERE’S a reason to get out the popcorn. In fact, this comet (release date: December 2013-ish) is sure to make Catching Fire look like a Werther’s Original commercial. Comet ISON (named for the International Scientific Optical Network, of which discoverers Artyom Novichonok and Vitali Nevski members) was 600 million miles away from the sun when it was first sighted. Since that’s unusually far away to be visible, it’s probably mega-huge—like a couple of miles across—and mega-huge comets are strong enough to survive the breakup that usually happens to smaller comets. What we’re trying to say is, if everything lines up, ISON could start lighting up the sky late this year and even continue on into 2014. Yeah, we know. Catching Fire, what?
3. The Cleanest Tour De France Ever. When cyclist darling Lance Armstrong was nailed (and sued) for being the "heart of the sophisticated doping ring," wheelie-poppers everywhere freaked in unison as they realized that taking drugs to enhance your bike performance wasn’t going to be overlooked anymore. So 2013 might be the year we see a Tour De France with very little, if any, doped-up athletes. Maybe that will be the least exciting thing ever. But at least we can feel good about it. Look ourselves in the mirror the next day. Solid consciounces all around.
4. THE ROYAL BABY is coming, the royal baby is coming! What will his royal name be?! What royal booties will he favor!? Is he even a he?! Who will clean his royal rump!? Does Kate do that stuff? We just can’t picture it! This will be an exciting year (unless you hate babies, and in that case, stinks to be you) as we watch Kate’s bump grow, and the teensy little Prince-to-Be eat, sleep, and pass gas in public. And then there shall be baby pictures.
5. SimCity 2013. Okay, nerds. This is a safe place. You can admit you are excited about SimCity 2013. It looked super groovy at its preview in 2012. And we can play it for hours and hours without guilt, because it’s like totally legitimate preparation for our careers of city planner, or world dominator, or whatever.
6. Your New Year’s Resolution. What will it be? Cut your Swedish Fish fix down to only two bags a day? Try to take the stairs (because there’s no elevator in your school and everyone has to take the stairs?) Start biting your nails and then stop, so that you feel like you accomplished something? Hey, we’re not here to judge. We believe in you. Whatever your New Year’s Resolution is, you can do it.
7. A Galactic Spaceship. Want to start making your wish list for Christmas 2013 now? It might be a good idea, since December is when Richard Branson is promising regular old people will be able to take vacations in space—for a fee which is sure to be outrageous. So be good, extra good. Help old ladies cross the street left and right, pick up trash, hug foster puppies, etcetera. It’s going to take a lot of puppies.
8. Not Living In Fear Of The Mayan Prophecy. Hey Mayans, kiss our buns. You were wrong about the world ending in 2012, twice. And now it’s going to be 2013—a year you hold no fear over us. Why don’t you make something new up? Like maybe tell us that Richard Branson will be launching rich people into space. HAHAHAHA! Oh, stop! It's too over the top!
9. The New Cute Animal Craze. We’ve had cats, sloths... who has guesses for what’s next? Please someone say sea otters, yes!
10. Arrested Development. There have been so many rumors flying around about how we will get our Arrested Development in 2013. A movie? A theme park? Brand spankin’ new episodes released on Netflix Instant? We heard it’s the latter. Hooray!
12. Fresh Start. Umm, so as we’ve discussed, 2012 was rough for a number of reasons. We mean, Lauren Conrad should probably ship herself to Antarctica for a year. But the thing is, we can do better in 2013. We can learn from these terrible things and move on. We get a fresh start. Doesn’t it feel amazing to start a year with zero mention of YOLO? (That mention didn’t count, since it was referring to never mentioning YOLO again.)
What are you excited for in 2013?