The year is almost over! Quick, enjoy 2012 as much as you can before it vanishes! Here are you daily reasons to smile, cheer, and do a little happy jig.
1. It’s Friday! But it actually feels more like a Sunday, doesn’t it? Or maybe it feels like a Saturday. Winter Break screws up all time and dates. It’s like the Doctor Who of vacations.
2. Hot chocolate is better with marshmallows. If you don’t have marshmallows, make your own using a birthday wish or illegal magic.
3. If you don’t have hot chocolate, enjoy a cup of hot vanilla, or hot strawberry.
4. Craft Idea: Paint.
5. “Hey Dan,” you say. “Your craft ideas are typically weird and hardly ever useful. What’s the deal?” If you don’t like my craft ideas, you will hate my new daytime talk show: Sunny Side Dan. As soon as the TV execs call me back, it will be on the air!
6. An asteroid won’t kill us all in 2040!! Phew! Now to remake all those dinner reservations for 2040.
7. Today would be a great day to wear a blanket as a skirt. Is that a thing? Does a blanket skirt already exist? I would wear it.
8. Your new gloves look amazing! How did I know you got new gloves? I’m friends with your neighbor’s cousin. Duh.
9. Today you can accomplish all the things you planned for Winter Break. Just kidding. Go back to bed and eat leftover Christmas Doritos.
10. If your teacher assigned homework over Winter Break, and you need help with it, just ask. Here’s one possible answer: x = 89/2. Here’s another: Mark Twain’s real name is Samuel Clemens.
11. Word of the Day: Alphabet. Definition: An extreme bet. Example: I alphabet you that you can’t jump over that chair. If you succeed, I will give you the antidote.
12. Happy Birthday Denzel Washington! Sorry if that sounded sarcastic. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I’m just tired and have a bad cold. Have a wonderful birthday, Denny!
13. What are you reading this Winter Break, besides this sentence. And this one. And this one. And the next one. Are you still reading this? Stop. There’s no joke here. There is no secret surprise at the end of this paragraph. Honest. Just kidding. Dinosaurs!
14. Instead of making New Years resolutions, make a New Years declaration. They are easier to keep. Example: Fog is just lazy clouds! Trees are made of wood. I like soup.
15. Just when you think Lego couldn’t be any better, they go ahead and make a Back to the Future set! Look at Lego Doc!! Look at him!
16. If you’re sick, drink plenty of fluids. Don’t eat the fluids. Drink them. Chewing only makes it worse.
17. Tonight you will find either true love, or a nickel. But not both.
18. This is the last Friday of 2012, so if you ever wanted to ride a llama on a Friday in 2012, today’s the day, or you will live a life of regret.
19. You might think it’s gross to pour hot chocolate on Lucky Charms instead of milk, but there was probably a time when folks thought traveling to the moon was gross, too. Explore!
20. Who wants to go sledding? I don’t. But if you wanted to go, I’d go. That’s how much I want our friendship to work out.
21. Gesundheit! (This may only apply to one person reading this, but that one person’s mind is now blown!)
22. It’s OK to go shopping in your pajamas, unless you’re shopping for sophisticated things like diamonds, opera capes, or chariots.
23. Because hot chocolate tastes better with marshmallows, what’s so weird about putting marshmallows in other drinks, such as coffee, soda, tea, hot lemonade, or spiced water?
24. Today is the best day of the year! Maybe.
25. Quick Poll: