I never claim to be a fashionista but there are some fashion trends that make even my stripes vs. polka dots-challenged-brain ask, "Really?" Here are the worst fashion trends in the history of fashion...for 2012.
1. Wearing Heels With Socks
I appreciate the value of a sock, and I think that rockin' a great heel is something every girl should do, but together, it's a mystifying combination. Doesn't the sock make the heel all slidey? Aren't socks supposed to be the "hidden surprise" of all outfits, much like the toy at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box? If it's winter and it's freezing, why are you wearing a heel??? Can someone explain all these things to me please?
2. Wearing Glasses Frames Without Lenses
We get it. You want to look geek chic/smart and those Warby Parker frames are just so freakin' hot. But it's only an optical illusion. Optometrists everywhere are screaming. Zooey Deschanel was guilty of this trend in an episode of New Girl, and I just spent most of the day rewinding back to that point where she wears them to try and find the lenses. Did the kids in her class punch out the frames and now she's trying to hide it? Yes. Probably.
What are meggings? They're leggings for guys. Do you have the visual? Does it make you want to cry and burn the latest issue of Vogue? It should. It very well should.
This trend originated in Japan. It is, I kid you not, injecting saline into your forehead so that a few hours later it looks like you have a bagel...on your forehead. Why? What? Who? How? Eww? If? Huh? No? Japan? Please?
5. The Mullet Skirt and Dress
The mullet is the worst haircut in the history of bad barbers. Why the Fashion Gods decided to take this and apply it to dresses and skirts is beyond me. It shows a lack of commitment. If you want to go long, go long. If you want to show off a little leg, then heck, put on that mini-skirt and kick! Don't be Fashion Indecision 2012! Plus, it's a weird waste of fabric. Methinks, all the cut out mullet pieces are escaping to their own little planet, where they will soon come back, conquer earth, and create a Fabric Revolution singing, "Do You Hear The Discards Sing? It is the Song That Never Ends. We are going to trash you Skirt and Dress and Destroy this Fashion Trend!"
6. All Leather, All The Time
Those poor cows.
7. Skirts Over Trousers
This sounds like an 80s trend gone wrong. Except even the 80s, in all their ridiculousness, did not stoop this low. This is a major Fashion ewwwwww--that is, unless you are a person who is always cold. Then I say, why not? Wear those trousers under that skirt! You'll be warm and cozy 24/7.
If you are as tall as Mount Everest and as thin as a piece of thread, this looks good on you. If you are not the BFG, this does not look good on you. GO BACK TO THE 90S WHERE YOU BELONG!
9. Harem Pants
Hello, Aladdin. How are you? Where is Abu? I like monkeys. Will you take me on a magic carpet ride? Will you show you me the wooorld, shining shimmering, splend—take off those Harem Pants because you aren't the adorable Aladdin after all, you are an imposter!
10. Dyeing Your Hair Grey
This is taking granny-chic too far. Yes, Kelly Osbourne did this. She doesn't get away with it. Look, if you already bake delicious cookies, love to knit, pinch small children's cheeks, and are a master at hugs, spoil everyone with chuckles and candy and...ok, now I miss my Grandma, and I have to go so she can feed me the best sweet bread roll in the history of baking.
What fashion trend do you want to forget?