The post-Christmas blues are setting in, but don’t be sad! Here are 25, hand-picked, fresh from the oven reasons to be happy on this otherwise dreary Thursday.
1. Snowball fight! If there is no snow in your area, improvise by having a rainball fight or molecules-of-air-fight.
2. There is NOTHING to do today. You guys wanna come over and play Apples to Apples? I promise not to make the typical, super-strange, Dan Rules.
3. If we’re playing Apples to Apples, who wants to be the banker? And who wants to be the bailiff?
4. You still have time to make a kickass New Year’s Resolution! Mine is: I resolve to stop trying to use “sandwich” as a trendy adjective.
5. Wearing new socks makes you feel stronger. I got new socks for Christmas and I’m wearing them now. They’re totally sandwich! (It’s not the new year yet, so I can still use that word.)
6. Do you still listen to Christmas music? If so, do you enjoy being an awful person?
7. As this is the last Thursday of the year, lets take a moment to remember all the great Thursdays of 2012, such as April 12th, July 26th, and so on.
8. It sucks when you get a lot of snow but it’s not a Snow Day because you’re on Winter Break. To make up for it, your school should give you an extra day off, or $20.
9. Craft Idea: Reuse gift bags as fun trash bags for your car, or cat helmets.
10. You are a wonderful person. Never forget that. If you want to forget anything, forget how to find an angle’s cosine, because that information is as useful as a cat helmet made of festive paper.
11. Because the SparkNotes office is nearly empty, the editors who are here are going out to lunch. A pancake lunch! PANCAKE LUNCH! Meet us as the pancake place in, like, thirty minutes. Bring napkins and story ideas!
12. New Year’s Eve Parties can be pretty lame. If you need an excuse to get out of going, use a good one. Here are examples of good excuses and bad excuses. Choose wisely.
I’m sick with a sore throat. (Good)
I’m sick with gingivitis. (Bad)
My parents are making me hang out with relatives. (Good)
I don’t like you or your social events. (Bad)
I already made plans. Sorry. (Good)
This guy I’m dating, you don’t know him, invited me to his house, but you don’t know where that is because you don’t know this guy. And so I’m going to his house, but you don’t know him. His name is...Brad. Brad Bradders. He’s tall and likes Green Day. You don’t know him. He goes to a different school, because he’s homeschooled, and so you don’t know him. His cat is gray. His Uncle is, like, a senator. So it’s a big deal. Brad also plays soccer and his favorite color is green, but his favorite food is tacos. You don’t know him. (Bad)
13. Start the New Year’s Eve countdown early! 390,003! 390,002! 390,001! 390,000! 389,999!
14. Word of the Day: Sandwich. Definition: A hip, slang way of saying “nifty.” Better than being viper. Example: Those shoes are pretty viper, but that jacket is 100% sandwich!!!
15. You know what 80s movie is still pretty awesome? The Karate Kid.
16. Doctor Who is more popular than ever! But how do you convince someone to give the show a chance? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
17. This week you have the best chance of watching an R-rated movie with your family when suddenly the movie gets very R-rated and then your family just sits there awkwardly. Enjoy this special holiday time together.
18. Does anyone want some leftover turtle doves or drummers? I’m just going to throw them out, but if you want some, let me know.
19. Consider This: It seems odd that a magic hat can bring frozen water to life, but not liquid water, or water vapor. It’s the same molecules, right?
20. Consider This: If you put that magic hat on a dead body, would the body come to life? Is this how the zombie apocalypse begins? What if you put it on a healthy person’s head? Would they get stronger? Would they get instantly pregnant? “Frosty the Snowman” is a song that leaves the listener with more questions than answers.
21. There are few things as depressing as an unlit Christmas tree on December 27th. Plug that plant in!
22. Tomorrow is Friday! But it doesn’t really count since this whole week is one big weekend.
23. If you get a Christmas Card after Christmas, it counts for the next year. That’s what it says in the Constitution.
24. Are you going to finish those cookies, or what?
25. Quick Poll: