What Your Favorite Holiday Song Says About You
From Silver Bells to Jingle Bells, from pop holiday songs to classic carols, seasonal music is all the rage right now... and everyone's got a Christmas tune that serves as their personal anthem for this magical, marvelous time of year. But now, thanks to the miracles of modern research, we know that your favorite holiday song is more than a simple matter of musical taste; it's a highly scientific predictor of just what kind of person you are!
Yes, we can tell more about you from your favorite Christmas song than we can from going through your garbage. (That is, unless you're the guy who threw out a package of half-eaten candy canes wrapped in a bloodstained One Direction poster, in which case we have you idea what the heck is going on with you, but we'll have you know that we already called the police.) What seeeecret secrets lie behind your fondness for "The First Noel," your affection for "Auld Lang Syne," your love for "Lo How a Rose"? WELL.
If your favorite song is: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
You are: A misunderstood social outcast who yearns for acceptance, dreaming of the day when a bearded father figure will show everyone how special you are.
If your favorite song is: Silent Night
You are: Keeping it low-key this Christmas after getting into a now-internet-viral fistfight with someone's giant inflatable snowman last year.
If your favorite song is: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
You are: A co-dependent goody two-shoes who loves the idea of being monitored in your sleep by a judgmental old man. (See also: Swan, Bella.)
If your favorite song is: We Three Kings
You are: A scholarly, serious type... unless you always replace the actual lyrics with a line about rubber cigars, in which case you are my dad.
If your favorite song is: The Holly and the Ivy
You are: A time traveler from 18th-century England.
If your favorite song is: Christmas Wrapping, by The Waitresses
You are: Too distracted by all the shiny presents and blinking lights to bother with songs that have actual lyrics.
If your favorite song is: We Wish You a Merry Christmas
You are: One of the few people in the world who doesn't become confused and nauseated upon hearing the phrase "figgy pudding."
If your favorite song is: All I Want for Christmas Is You, by Mariah Carey
You are: A holiday diva. Unless you can hit that high note on the final chorus, in which case you are a diva for all seasons, and good for you.
If your favorite song is: What Child Is This?
You are: Clearly asking questions to which you already know the answer, but thanks for wasting everyone's time. GEEZ. Way to RUIN CHRISTMAS.
If your favorite song is: Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), by Darlene Love
You are: Probably sobbing into your eggnog right now.
If your favorite song is: Frosty the Snowman
You are: Still keeping that moldy carrot in your freezer on the off chance that Frosty comes back in search of his nose.
If your favorite song is: Sleigh Ride
You are: A horse. ...Aren't you?
If your favorite song is: Fairytale of New York, by the Pogues
You are: Listening to Christmas music from the jail cell where you're being held for public drunkenness and inappropriate urination.
Okay, how close were we? Is your favorite song on this list? ARE YOU A HORSE?!