The week before Christmas is a time of stress and buying gift cards because you don’t know what to get people. But there are still 25 reasons to cheer. Such as..
1. It’s the last Monday of all time. With the world ending on Friday, make the most of this final Monday. Go skydiving! Kiss your crush! Gather rosebuds. Dip your french fries in melted popsicles. Quickly learn Italian! Go! Go! GO!
2. Kelly Clarkson is engaged. Is she the most successful American Idol winner? Let’s wait and see how 2013 treats Ruben Studdard before we make such a bold statement. (No pressure, Ruby.)
3. There are still a few thousand minutes before Christmas. That’s plenty of time to shop and send out cards and decorate and weep and fight with your parents over stupid things and fret about having a New Year’s Eve date and worry about lizards taking over and baking...
4. Relax and think about all the dip you’re going to eat before the end of the year. Dip is the frosting of chips.
5. Craft Idea: Make your own holiday ornaments out of paper clips, glue, and used diamonds.
6. Remember when new Harry Potter movies would sometimes come out in November? They just felt Christmas-y. Now you’re crying, right? Sorry. Think about hobbits and James Bond to hopefully ease that pain.
7. The Hobbit made a lot of money this weekend. (I call Justin Bieber a Hobbit. HA! So when I said the Hobbit made lots of money, I was...you know what. Never mind. Let’s pretend this joke didn’t happen. And then let’s pretend we have robot arms and notebooks weigh 4,000-pounds!!! Robot arrrrrrms lift heavy booook!)
8. Word of the Day: Hypocrisy. Definition: A group of hippopotamuses. Example: The politician’s hypocrisy was his downfall, after several of them attacked.
9. NASA will crash two spacecrafts into the moon. When they do it, it’s science. When you crash your bike into the mailbox, it’s less-significant science and the reason you’re not getting nice things for Christmas.
10. Elf Quote of the Day: “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”
11. Have some hard peppermint J’s! (Called “candy canes” in some rural areas or “mint lolli-curves” in my house.)
12. Christmas cookies will always taste better when you make them yourself. The same is true of paprika.
13. Liven up a dull holiday party by screaming, “Helicopters are my favorite kind of robot bird!” See where that statement takes you. Someplace interesting, no doubt.
14. Does anyone remember Fall Out Boy?
15. Never underestimate the power of love or giant snow worms.
16. Consider This: Buzz, Kevin’s mean older brother from Home Alone, now looks like this.
17. Cure a headache by complaining!
18. Gift Bag Drag: The act of sifting through a gift bag in hopes of finding more items, only to discover handfuls of tissue paper.
19. Raise your hand if you’ve ever eaten figgy pudding, liar.
20. It won’t be Monday forever.
21. Dog of the Day: Ones with
fake real antlers.
22. Finals are (almost?) over!!!
23. Try to use “hopscotch” as an adjective today.
24. Cranberry ginger ale isn’t that great, but it’s more festive than regular ginger ale and tastes better than cranberry lasagna.
25. Quick Poll: