If you thought the holidays were all about getting cookie-wasted and drowning in delicious caramel apple cider, then it's time to think again. We're here to whip you into shape yuletide-style. Behold the 16 ways to keep from looking a little too jolly... if you catch our (snow)drift.
1. Shop til you drop. Literally.
Plan your mall runs in the most inefficient manner, stopping at a store at one end of the mall, and then head to the other end for your next item, and then back to the opposite end, and so on. Zigzagging is also encouraged.
2. Run a bunch of Jingle Bell Jogs.
A bunch. Maybe just run some marathons, actually. Christmas music is usually up-tempo enough to get your steps a-stepping.
3. Get a Christmas tree!
Chop down a pine tree or five...with your bare hand, karate style!
Make popcorn strings for the trees you chopped down. This will get your fingers working. For best results and to burn more calories, use unpopped kernels!
5. (Literally) Get into the holiday spirit.
Find the biggest Christmas tree in your town. Climb it.
6. Stand in line!
Even if you're only buying batteries, stand in the longest line you can find.
7. Meet Santa!
But have him sit on your lap, and then try to hoist him off using your thigh muscles.
8. Make gingerbread houses with your friend who has a cold.
You won't be tempted to eat something that has your friend's sickly germs all over it.
9. Light the menorah.
Matches are for the lazy. Instead, lose weight and generate fire by using the friction created from rubbing sticks together. It's harder than you think.
10. Help mom bring the decorations up from the basement.
With your teeth!
11. Go caroling while jogging.
You can hit more houses this way, and avoid awkward moments when you neighbors stare at you for an entire song.
12. Taste egg nog.
Then spit it out because it's gross and has more calories than an entire blue whale.
13. Don't bake cookies.
14. Visiting New York for the holidays?
Go to the giant piano at FAO Schwarz and play some Rachmaninoff.
15. Cut out the hot chocolate.
Have hot celery water instead.
16. Snow angels are for the weak.
Anyone can move snow with their limbs. Instead of a snow angel, make a gravel angel!
So there you have it. Now get up and go! In all seriousness, don't really do these things. Enjoy your favorite treats in moderation this season and have fun! We'll start running laps in January.
Do you work out during the holidays?