The period between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve may be known as the season of giving, but it’s also the season of blinding fluorescent lights, Oreo cookies with an unnatural amount of red food coloring, and a never-ending loop of *NSYNC Christmas covers. We all react differently to this high concentration of holiday cheer—some may embrace it, while others may want to hijack a one-horse open sleigh and escape to a faraway land where there’s no religious denomination. Take our quiz to find out where you stand and whether you can expect to be the one lighting the menorah this year or just using it as a weapon of arson.
1. As soon as the first snow of the year falls, you:
a) Drag all of your friends out for a fun-filled evening of caroling.
b) Make snowballs and hurl them at your friends.
c) Make snowballs and hurl them at carolers. And you make it a point to use the yellow snow.
2. When you spot Santa Claus stationed in the middle of the mall, you:
a) Cut the line of crying children and climb on his lap so you can hand-deliver the Christmas list you typed up for him, double-spaced and complete with an index.
b) Smile at the memory of all the times you waited in line to see Santa as a kid, but then roll your eyes at the obnoxious on-foot traffic jam it’s causing.
c) Pull out the mini-cooler you packed with fresh yellow snowballs for the occasion and open fire on Ol’ Saint Nick.
3. When you see that holiday decorations are already up in stores, and it’s not even Thanksgiving, you wonder:
a) Why they waited so long—you’ve had your decorations up since May!
b) Why we can’t just enjoy one holiday at a time.
c) How serious of an offense vandalism really is and if it’s a cause worth being grounded indefinitely for.
4. At your annual family holiday party, you are the one who:
a) Is wearing a rented Santa costume and working up a serious sweat trying to shimmy down the chimney with presents for all the little boys and girls in attendance.
b) Put together the party playlist comprised of all the least irritating seasonal tunes. Sorry, Bublé, but you didn’t make the cut.
c) Bought each of your relatives a package of coal-shaped bubblegum and replaced it with real coal. They might want to ask Santa for dental implants this year.
5. When someone argues that you should say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” you think:
a) They couldn’t be more right; the holidays are the best time of the entire year, and everyone should feel included!
b) That people today are just too uptight—it’s doubtful that anyone is actually offended by being wrongly wished a Merry Christmas.
c) How enjoyable it would be to tie that person up with boughs of holly and pelt them with tree ornaments and dreidels, in honor of both holidays.
If you answered mostly A’s: You sure do love the holidays—but maybe a little too much, we worry. We know it’s hard for you to see, but there is more to life than matzo, mistletoe, and whatever “m” word correlates with Kwanzaa.
If you answered mostly B’s: Congratulations! You appear to have a healthy relationship with the holidays, along with a healthy distaste for Michael Bublé. You are going places in life.
If you answered mostly C’s: You sure are a mean one, Mr. Grinch. We understand that just the thought of the holidays is enough to make you toss your sugar cookies, but try not to ruin it for everyone else. And stop throwing things at other people—in most places, that’s considered assault!
Where do you fall on the holiday spirit scale?