Here’s why you should break out the tap shoes and get to tapping!
1. Happy belated birthday to Bill Nye, the Science Guy! His birthday was yesterday, but because I never got the hang of the metric system, it’s included on today’s list. Hi, Nye!
2. Spoiler Alert! Item #23 on this list is a HUGE spoiler for anyone who has not yet seen The Dark Knight Rises. This is not a joke. Item 23 is as spoilery as it gets. Go see The Dark Knight Rises before proceeding.
3. Rock, Paper, Scissors...shoot! [Dan wields paper, smiles, and waits expectantly]
4. Green tea will make you smart! So rub it all over your brain and hair moments before a test.
6. You still have time to read Les Miserables before seeing the movie. Read faster by skipping the verbs. Or just read the SparkNotes.
7. The next X-men movie will mix the young Prof. X and Magneto with the old ones. Using multiple timelines is intriguing, but it could wind up being more confusing than the next sentence: Apples don’t wiggle notebook Florida, vroooooooom.
8. Be afraid: This isn’t a reason to celebrate. It’s a reason to wear lots of underpants all the time. There are rumors about gossip site TMZ attempting to use drones (remote controlled aircraft) to snap pics of celebrities and other news events. That’s not journalism. That’s straight-up spying. The good news: Flying robots are no match for a well-trained falcon.
9. Buy a falconer’s glove. Then you’re one step closer to becoming a falconer. (Just as the prophecy foretold.)
10. It’s Thor Salden’s birthday! Who the hell is Thor Salden? According to Wikipedia, he’s a 15-year-old Belgian pop singer whose hit song is entitled “Een Tocht Door Het Donker." For that reason, and because his name is Thor Salden, he’s the best Belgian pop singer of the day. Recognize.
11. Need a nickname? Het Donker is a good one. (I think it means “the dark” or maybe “king of donkeys.”)
12. This is the best elevator prank of them all. Bravo!
13. New winners were crowned on Dancing with the Stars! I read the names of the winners eight times. Still don’t know who they are. Congrats, you people whose names I’ve already forgotten. Was it Mitch? Mitch and Claudia? Eh, whatever.
14. Word of the Day: Plumage. Definition: Bird feathers. Example: “Olliver removed his shirt without breaking away from the kiss as Sally gently sighed into his mouth. Their bodies became one pillar of groping, grinding flesh. Sally ripped open her gown with an animalistic grunt. Sequins pelted the floor like hail made of pure sex. The kiss never ended as they collapsed onto the bed with moans of pleasures. Outside the cottage, a bird serenaded their lust. The bird’s plumage was grayish.”
15. Fruit of the Day: Oranges! Oranges would sell better this holiday season if the ad slogan went something like this: People in olden times gave oranges as Christmas presents. Oranges are like round, wet, affordable iPads! Buy some today, or tomorrow if you're busy!
16. Things that are better during the holidays: Starbucks, The Yankee Candle store, mints, awful music, bells, Lord of the Rings movies, Harry Potter movies, crackers.
17. Bigfoot is part human! (Still might not exist.)
18. The Powerball jackpot is up to $500 million! How would you spend the winnings? By the way, you look fantastic. Seriously. Also, you’re so funny and good at all things. Haha...that’s why we're best friends, right? Forever!
19. A Charlie Brown Christmas is on TV tonight! Get ready by reading our very own Blogging “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”
20. Speaking of Christmas, towards the end of the song “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” the deer are being sarcastic when they shout with glee, right? No one wants to work on Christmas Eve, so the reindeer are being cranky about it. Other name for that song: “Way to be a jerk, Rudy.”
21. Dog of the Day: Schnauzers.
22. Do you know how to make a snow angel? Of course you do. Even blind salamanders know how to make a snow angel. But because the internet is internety, you can read this helpful How To list of instructions. Now if only someone could teach me how to make toast.
23. Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Joseph Gordon Levitt is rumored to be the next Batman in the proposed Justice League movie, and may even pop up in this summer’s Superman reboot. Yes! This makes so much sense!!! The ending of The Dark Knight Rises set everything up perfectly! Hollywood, let this rumor be true. And to those who whine, “He’s not really Batman,” go home and write a better way to tie in the Christian Bale Batman movies with the new Justice League movies. You won’t be able to do it. There should be a new Batman. And he doesn’t need to be Bruce Wayne. This is a good thing. I fully support it and have already bought twenty tickets to the movie that has yet to be made.
24. Adele’s album 21 has sold 10 million copies. And you still probably don’t know her last name.
25. Quick Poll: