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OTHER Thanksgiving Traditions

OTHER Thanksgiving Traditions

By RG Daniels

Thanksgiving is a time for food, family, and being grateful for the things we have rather than what we don't. Of course, with the holiday comes its traditions: there are football games on TV, small children running around the house, and the inevitable insanity of a night where all your relatives are in the same place at the same time. We present to you the Thanksgiving traditions we are (or aren't) looking forward to this year:

The "Who Can Talk the Loudest at the Dinner Table" Game – The competition is always fierce during this annual tradition. It is a Battle Royale of voices as each contestant fights to be louder than the next. When everyone talks at once, only one can reign supreme. Past winners have included Uncle Joe and his story about buying the wrong mop and Mom with her shrieks about how much she hates The Bachelor.

Guess Which Relative Will Make it Awkward First – A time-honored tradition where we all anticipate which grandparent will get angry about text messaging or which relative will make a diarrhea joke. We believe a Hall of Fame should be opened for this.

The Countdown 'til That Really Annoying Kid Shows Up – Every family has one. Little kids can be fun and really bring the vibe up, but there always seems to be one of those kids in every family. Y'know, the kid who can't keep his finger out of his nose for more than 8 seconds and constantly asks if you'll be his horsey. All is calm, but you know he'll show up any second. The doorbell rings and then…

Boyfriend…or Stranger With No Place To Go? – Who's that guy sitting at the other end of the table? Is he with your sister? Is he wearing a Fall Out Boy t-shirt? Did he bring a box of Ritz crackers to share before dinner? Is that someone's boyfriend or a stranger with no place to go? WHAT'S HAPPENING??

Mystery Side Dish Super Happy Fun Time – Hooray! Dinner is finally served and you are elbowing your way to the table. There's turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, and a large puddle of green slop with little yellow thingies sticking out of it. Wait…what? There's always one, isn't there? You can’t tell if you're supposed to eat it or fill your car up with it. Good luck!

The Food Coma Epidemic – It is a very real problem that strikes down on the great population every time around this year: food comas. Do your part and help those who are wounded after a large meal by providing a place on the couch or a pillow on the floor. Every little bit helps. And keep your head up—dessert is on its way and a sugar rush is certain to snap those poor victims out of it.

The Glade Air Freshener Bathroom Challenge – Hawaiian Breeze or Angel Whispers? Which scent can successfully conquer whatever it was your uncle Bob did in that bathroom? Another year, another challenge.

Topics: Life
Tags: holidays, family, thanksgiving, traditions, thanksgiving 2012

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About the Author
RG Daniels

RG Daniels is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. He likes ‘90s one-hit wonders, breakfast for dinner, and koala bears. He is currently on Level 163 in Candy Crush.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.