Hey there Sparklers! It’s me (crazywritergirl) and my not-totally-nemesis Metalhead! We know that this is a little late absototalutely wonderfranking super-smashingly disturbingly late, and we are so dreadfully sorry. You see, we are experiencing this little thing called SENIOR YEAR. It’s pretty terrible. Between realizing that the SAT deadline was last week, the college application deadline was last month, and the math final was due last gosh darn year, we are a wee bit swamped. We swear that we are going to get our act together for you all, because you’re worth it. Our last argument was a real nail-biter for me (crazywritergirl). I won the day…BUT ONLY BY ONE VOTE! Yeah…you can believe that I was hyperventilating when I was counting.
The subject voting for this debate was a tie between Batman VS Spiderman and Phineas and Ferb VS Kim Possible. So Metalhead and I got to break the tie with our personal favorite (because deep inside the two of us are still stuck at seven years old).
This Week’s Matchup: Phineas and Ferb VS Kim Possible!
Crazywritergirl in defense of Phineas and Ferb:
Hello you smashing individuals! You know how I love using lists to explain how awesome things are? Well, today I’m not going to do that! Just kidding; here's the list of reasons why Phineas and Ferb is awesome:
- The plots that mimic awesome things! Tell me you didn’t love Excaliferb, the episode that poked fun at EVERY SINGLE FANTASY STORY EVER! Complete with Baljeet as a mock-Legolas and the Redundant Scribe of Redundancy.
- The acronyms! Just look at L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N (League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United for Frightening Investments in Naughtiness) and O.W.C.A. (Organization Without a Cool Acronym)! How cool is that!
- The songs. C’mon guys, those songs are the shiz. Tell me you don’t rock out to the opening theme song! Look me in the eye and say that you’ve never tried to sing the bridge in Squirrels in My Pants! Don’t deny that Perry’s tag song is your ringtone!
- Giant. Floating. Baby. Head. We don’t have to understand, just appreciate and be creeped out.
- Ferb’s one liners: “You know, mummies had their brains pulled out through their noses," or "You know, in retrospect, I question the inclusion of a self-destruct button in the first place." "The probability of a humanoid-vegetable hybrid is exceedingly remote." Every family Christmas special needs a little false drama.” And we can’t forget Ferb’s most glorious speech of all, and by far the longest, “Give up? Give up? The day may come when we'll give up on fruitless searches after a mere eleven minutes, but that day is not today! The day may come when our favorite reptile may be lost from our memories and his enduring love of mushrooms forgotten, but that day is not today! Today we search! We will search for him in the streets. We will search for him in the trenches. We will search for him in the alleys and the mini-malls and the cul-de-sacs of this fair land. We will search for him in the multilevel car parks and municipal recreation facilities. And we few. We happy few. We small band of brothers—and girl from across the street. We shall not cease 'til he is found!”
- The Zebra who always talks about Kevin. Don’t worry Sparklers, I don’t understand either.
- And last but certainly not least, we have Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz’s antics! From his uncanny habit of ending nearly every invention’s name with “-inator” to his persistent back-stories and monologues, Heinz never fails to impress. We all love his catch-phrases and his wacky voice and his booby traps.
I could list for a few more hours, but I DO have a word limit. So let’s see what Metalhead has to say!
Metalhead in defense of Kim Possible:
So. Kim Possible. Let’s go.
- A lot of cartoon action comedies (cough, Hero 108, cough) nowadays are just plain stupid. Kim Possible is quite far from that. The (awesome) humor is all based around the fact that Kim, our hero, is totally capable of stopping super-villains from carrying out evil world-domination or get-rich-quick schemes, but when it comes to high school, she gets F’s and is way too nervous to ask the guys she likes out. Adding to the humor is her sidekick Ron Stoppable’s all-around incompetence (which Kim usually has to use as a distraction). It’s pretty great.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz? Ha. Kim has to face an entire quirky rogues’ gallery bent on…doing various evil things. At the top of the list is the genius (yet kind of stupid) Dr. Drakken and his super-powered sidekick Shego, who constantly plan to hold things for ransom. Other baddies in the show include martial arts master Monkey Fist, millionaires Señor Senior, Sr. and Señor Senior, Jr., minimum-wage employee Frugal Lucre (who plans to take down the Internet unless everyone in the world sends him one dollar), and the dastardly Gemini, leader of W.E.E. …Yeah, she kind of has her work cut out for her.
- Phineas and Ferb have Perry; Ron has Rufus, the naked mole rat. That nacho-loving, strange little hairless creature in Ron’s pocket serves as more than just a mascot; Kim and Ron rely on him to get them out of sticky situations (i.e. hitting the button to unlock various arm and leg restraints when our heroes are trapped). He and Ron get along like brothers–they occasionally fight over trivial things, but in the end, they always work together as best an animal and an incompetent guy can. And somehow, Kim is able to survive it all.
- Deet deet da-deet! There is NO ONE alive nowadays who doesn’t recognize the Kimmunicator’s chirping little ringtone. I even know a few people who have it set to go off whenever someone texts them. Tell me what’s more awesome than that. Nothing. That’s right.
Now it’s time for the back-and-forth. We are a wee bit rusty.
CWG: So…how do we do this again?
MH: Umm…I make good points, you make dumb ones, and I win.
CWG: That doesn’t sound right…peasant.
MH: Don’t call me peasant, you mewling quim! Kim Possible is WAY better than Phineas and Ferb!
CWG: PFFFFTTTT! (That’s my Phineas and Ferb lip music) And Kim Possible does not ever beat Phineas and Ferb!
MH: Um, yes it does. Naked mole rats > Platypii
CWG: It is spelled platyfreakinpussysus…everyone knows that!
MH: That doesn’t sound right either. Besides, Perry is always getting caught in Doofenshmirtz’s traps. Rufus just deactivates the traps!
CWG: Perry doesn’t NEED to get trapped. He LET’S Doofenshmirtz trap him because he cares about his self-esteem. He’s kind. He is Care-y the Platypus!
CWG: GET IT?! CARE-Y THE PLATYPUS!!!
CWG: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I CRACK MYSELF UP!!!
CWG: I have lost it. Darn you senior year!
MH: Ha. Anyway, Kim is so much cooler than Phineas and Ferb combined.
CWG: Are you making fun of the children now? FERB IS BRITISH! IT DON’T GET MUCH COOLER THAN THAT!
MH: Seniority is one advantage…
CWG: But is she British?
MH: That’s racist.
CWG: Britishnessosity isn’t a race…it’s a state of mind.
MH: Nationality has nothing to do with awesomeness. There are totally lame Brits out there. ANYWAY, Kim has gadgets and mad acrobat skills. What do Phineas and Ferb have? Ideas.
CWG: Stewie Griffin.
CWG: Benedict Cumberbatch!
CWG: HARRY POTTER!
MH: POINT TAKEN! LET’S TALK THEME SONGS!
CWG: There’s a hundred and four days of summer vacation!
MH: So many more people get the Kim Possible theme song than the Phineas and Ferb theme song.
CWG: AND SCHOOL COMES ALONG JUST TO END IT! Now you have the song stuck in my head…darn you! But seriously, it’s an awesome song!
MH: Yah but for Kim Possible, all you need is this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3nfrGdVcv0
CWG: LINKING IS CHEATING!
MH: IT IS NOT, I AM PROVIDING AUDIOVISUAL SUPPORT TO MY POINT!
CWG: STAHP! DOO BEE DOO BEE DOO BAH!
MH: DEET DEET DE-DEET!
CWG: DOO BEE DOO BEE DOO BAH!
MH: DEET DEET DE-DEET!
CWG: DOO BEE DOO BEE DOO BAH!
MH: People actually have the Kim Possible theme song as their ringtone, which makes them 5 million times cooler.
CWG: HE’S A SEMI-AQUATIC EGG-LAYING MAMMAL OF ACTION! I have the Perry the Platypus song as my ringtone, and my mommy says that I’m pretty cool…but she does make me walk half a block behind her at the mall…
MH: That. Is. Sad. But you just need four notes for the Kim Possible theme, and three of them are the same.
CWG: The Perry song is for deep thinkers…
MH: See! You don’t need to be a deep thinker for Kim Possible, more people can get it.
CWG: You know what else you don’t have to be a deep thinker for?
CWG: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo…but that doesn’t make it okay.
MH: THAT THING ACTUALLY KILLS BRAIN CELLS!
CWG: Hahaha, I know right!
MH: It’s so true.
CWG: Those people actually have a pig!
CWG: A. PIG.
CWG: A PIG NAMED GLITZY!
CWG: I am so beyond done.
CWG: Let’s just end it here…let the Sparklers laugh at our incompetence.
CWG: Adios! I have a Psychology paper and a Calculus test tomorrow!
MH: Senior year ftw…
So, what do you think, Sparklers? Phineas and Ferb or Kim Possible?
Don't forget to suggest new topics for us to debate!