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"Walking Tacos" and Our Awesome, Semi-Edible Alternatives

By Chrissie Gruebel

Have you guys heard of Walking Tacos? They're a bag of crushed Fritos filled with all the other stuff that make tacos tacos—basically, a portable smorgasbord of ground beef, cheese, and Frito goodness. Then you just get a fork (actually, I think the spork might have been created solely to aid in the eating of this culinary masterpiece) and go to town. In the interest of fair play, we've decided to come up with some other versions of walking tacos. Let's get cooking!

Walking Thanksgiving Dinner
1 turkey, insides all cleared out
Stuffing
Gravy
Mashed potatoes
Green beans
Cranberries
Pumpkin pie

Directions: Stuff the turkey with all ingredients, cook for however long you cook a turkey at whatever oven temperature required, then take it out. Let it cool. Pick it up. Put it into the Baby Bjorn. Grab a fork. Go for a stroll and eat your dinner—but don't forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving and remember to invite your whole family to come too.

Running Lasagna
Lasagna noodles, pre-cooked
Ground beef
Tomato sauce
Ricotta cheese
Mozzarella cheese

Directions: Fashion the cooked lasagna noodles into the shape of a running sneaker. Layer the other ingredients inside it. Cook it. Once cooled, place your foot inside your lasagna sneaker. Go running. Eat as you go!

Makin' it Rain Chicken Surprise
Canvas bag
Chicken drumsticks
Shoelaces
4 Unpeeled bananas

Directions: Fill the bag with all ingredients. Paid a dollar sign on the outside of the bag. Give 'em a shake. Run around town, asking people "You want some money?!" When the reach out to take the bag, pull out a chicken drumstick and a shoelace, hand it to them and say "Surprise!". Then, eat the bananas.

Limonada Par Avion
An envelope
1 taco seasoning packet
A cup of lemonade
4 Kisses
A letter to your grandma

Directions: Write a letter to your grandma with all the year's accomplishments on it. Put it in the envelope along with your four kisses, and the contents of one seasoning packet. Give it to your mailman along with the cup of lemonade because it's hot and he's probably thirsty. Afterwards, go to Chipotle and get a burrito!

Refuse Fantasia
A trash bag
Everything that's already in it
Minestrone soup

Directions: Open the trash bag. Pour in the minestrone soup. Wait for the apocalypse to come and you're starving. Eat what's in the bag. You'll be glad you had the foresight for this event.

Choco-Beef Pennies from Heaven
Your own pockets
Melted chocolate
Two beef bouillon cubes
1 Sponge, cut in half
spare change

Directions: Fill up your pockets with melted chocolate and 1 beef bouillon cube apiece. Cut a sponge in half and place one side in each pocket. Take your spare change to a bank and get some dollars for it. That's it.

We're definitely going to try the Makin' It Rain Chicken Surprise. What's the coolest/grossest/best portable culinary masterpiece you can think of?

Topics: Life
Tags: food, recipes, junk food, funny things, funny lists

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About the Author
Chrissie Gruebel

Chrissie Gruebel is a bunch of things separated by commas, but more often than not, she’s a writer, comedian, and wearer of too many colors at once. Here she is on Twitter: @chrissiegruebel.

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