Hello friends. First, I hope that everybody reading this is safe and sound. We east coasters are a resilient bunch, and I know we'll get through this with grace and aplomb. Second... wait, seriously west coast? Relax, I wasn't saying you're not resilient. Of course you are! You're super resilient, but c'mon we just had a hurricane last night. Cool? Okay. Second... wow, you really want to interrupt too, Midwest? Yes. Obviously you're resilient. You wrote the book on resiliency. Second... Canada? C'mon. Yep. Sure. You're resilient. Everybody's resilient! Everybody in the world is resilient! Is everyone happy now?!
Second, this Twitter recap is meant to entertain, and in no way make light of the events of the last 24 hours. Many people who were personally dealing with the hurricane, or checking in from a remote location utilized Twitter or another form of social networking. For a lot of us it was a unifying force; a way of feeling personally connected while literally isolated. Also, it was flat out funny. Here are a few of my favorite tweets from last night.
@Usedwigs: Police in my town seem a little high strung with this storm, not the least bit interested in helping me get my kid’s kite out of the tree :(
@Daveihl: Mom, there's very little chance the hurricane will reach Los Angeles.
@sadmonsters: Frankenstorm's okay, but I wish they were calling it a Dracucane.
@ThRealGregVuono: Bright side of losing power - my apartment smells AMAZING right now.
If you're a fan of That's So Raven star Raven Symone, stay safe. If you're not, get on out there and enjoy that hurricane everybody! Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte is a human being which means he technically possesses a valid opinion. Let's see what it is!
@Ryanlochte: Just herd NYC power went out?!?! Is that true
In Ryan’s defense homonyms are generally not an aquatic sport. That was Ryan Lochte... a man that represented our country in the Olympics. Let's get back to the intentional humor.
@JimGaffigan My favorite part of the blackout is when I turned to my 8 and 6 year olds and said, "Now I need you guys to go look for wood."
Gavin Speiller is not only one of the top improvisers in New York City, but also the creator of the hilarious Twitter hashtag #VinDieselSunday. What in the Vin Diesel is Vin Diesel Sunday you clumsily ask? Here are a few examples courtesy of @gavinspeiller:
"Probably more than a thousand...not counting outer-space."- Vin Diesel guessing how many birds there are in the world. #VinDieselSunday
"How do I control the speed on this thing?"- Vin Diesel trying to figure out how to use a straw #VinDieselSunday
"Yo, that robot is very generous."- Vin Diesel observing an ATM machine #VinDieselSunday
"They should make those things illegal."- Vin Diesel sharing his opinion about hurricanes. #VinDieselSunday
Poor Vin Diesel. Never fast. Always furious. No post about hurricane tweets would truly be complete without a few pop culture references.
@corintellectual: THE MENTALIST IS A RIP OFF OF USA'S PSYCH AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT AND THAT IS WHY THIS HURRICANE IS HAPPENING
@LittleLeaP: Sandy Cohen would never be this hostile.
@gracehelbig: Just thought to myself "the sweet sounds of Enrique Iglesias will get me through this storm." Take me now, Sandy.
@DCpierson: Apparently the seal picture I RT'd earlier is fake. The Seal picture I RT'd is NOT fake. Heeee remains... my power, my pleasure, my pain!
Parks and Recreation writer Joe Mande (@JoeMande) is the King of the ironic retweet. I found these gems through his account:
@kfc_colonel: To all our employees, customers and friends on the East Coast: You are in our thoughts. Please stay safe!
@redlobster: Our thoughts and well wishes are with all those in the path of Hurricane Sandy. Stay safe!
Hey chickens and lobsters, we appreciate the well wishes, but don’t think this changes anything between us. We’re humans. We’re still going to eat you.
On a serious note, I sincerely hope that you and your loved ones remain safe and were unharmed by this tragic event. Twitter helped to keep me calm last night and reminded me about all the strength and kindness that people possess. It also made a lot of funny Donald Trump jokes. Twitter, I love you. Stay safe, SparkLife.
How was your night? Did you use Facebook or Twitter during the storm? Is it sad that I went through all of my emergency beef jerky and half of my cookie supply in ONE NIGHT? Don't answer that last one.