Aside from the dead part, being a ghost isn’t half bad. You never have to use the bathroom, can walk through walls, and—best of all—you get to live in an enormous spooky house that people are too afraid to approach. But what’s this? An obnoxious family of fleshies has the audacity to move into your home and spruce the place up? You aren’t going to take this lying down—the family’s got to go! Take this quiz and see if you’re as scary (or scarier) than some of these famous ghosts!
1) It’s after midnight and the family’s asleep. How will you make your presence known?
a) Flick the hallway lights on and off (1 point)
b) Walk heavily up the stairs (2 points)
c) Tickle the ivories on the downstairs piano (3 points)
d) Wake them with the sound of a crying baby (4 points)
e) Stand at the foot of their beds and do that creepy head-tilt (5 points)
2) The family’s sitting down to dinner. How will you freak them out?
a) Make a demonic face appear in their tomato soup (5 points)
b) Make their steaks inch across the table like worms (4 points)
c) Knock over the salt and pepper shakers (1 point)
d) Possess everybody and have them sing Harry Belafonte’s “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)” (3 points)
e) Have insects crawl out of the salad (2 points)
3) Good work, the family’s on edge. What else will you do?
a) The timeless classic: bleeding walls (3 points)
b) Hide house keys, wallets, and other important items (1 point)
c) Crawl across the ceiling like a gecko (4 points)
d) Appear in the bathroom mirror and tear off your face (5 points)
e) Be that creepy imaginary friend (2 points)
4) The family hires a psychic to confirm the obvious. How will you get him to leave?
a) Possess the psychic and have him/her speak in tongues (2 points)
b) Have the mounted deer head barf all over the sap (3 points)
c) Toss the psychic about the room like a rag doll, laughing maniacally (5 point)
d) Possess the psychic and demonically warn the family “This is only the beginning.” (4 points)
e) Levitate a pot of tea across the room and serve the psychic a cup (1 point)
5) Ugh, the family’s standing their ground. How will you kick ‘em out once and for all?
a) Levitate everything and the family to “Jump in the Line (Shake, Senora)” (3 points)
b) Open the gate to the spirit realm, invite some pals over (5 points)
c) Reanimate and command the buried dead pets of the neighborhood to attack (4 points)
d) Gently shoo them out the door with a levitating broom (1 point)
e) Force them out of the house in a surge of pink slime (2 points)
Add up those paranormal points and divide by 5 (be sure to round down). Now see which famous ghost you are!
We’re going to be blunt: you aren't scary. Like, at all. The family talks about you with an endearing chuckle as though you’re some kind of cute addition to the family—like during an interview on Ghost Hunters. Take solace in the fact that you are probably more beloved than the family dog.
2) Boo Buddy (Super Mario series)
You’re scary, but in the same way that a post-midnight trip to the bathroom at the end of the hallway is a frightening prospect. True, the fleshies jump and run when you give them a good scare, but they’re more pranks and tricks than they are terrifying experiences. Still, watching them wet their pants is hilarious!
Like Boo Buddy, your scares come off as tricks and pranks. But unlike him, yours have more of a sinister—if not near-lethal—angle. Why should you care if someone gets hurt when you’re obviously getting a kick out of it? Screams and racing hearts are music to your undead ears!
4) The Beast (Poltergeist)
“This house is clean...” Tch, yeah, wanna double check that one? You’re a raging, monstrous demon from another realm that isn’t going anywhere! Once upon a time you were human, but your spirit was so dark that it malformed into a horrid abomination after death. Now you spend your days sowing misery and fear upon unsuspecting families.
5) Zuul (Ghostbusters)
To call you a ghost would be an insult. You’re practically a demonic god among the undead! In ancient times they feared and respected your name, but modern man needs a good lesson in piety. While possession and demonic activity is your game, you can just as easily eradicate mankind!
Which famous ghost are you?