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Avoid These Viral Costumes

Avoid These Viral Costumes

By Brandon Specktor

When an idea goes viral, there is almost always a point of saturation where that idea becomes so common, so widely expressed that it loses all meaning. Think about the word "hipster," for example. What does "hipster" even mean anymore? Or how about "birds"? It's 2012 and suddenly everyone thinks they've seen a bird. It's like, stop gloating about birds already, right guys? I don't think they exist.

Keep this in mind while you're assembling your Halloween costume in the next two weeks. An ultra memey and 2k12-y costume may be worth a few laughs, but when you find out you're the fifth Carly Rae Jepsen at the party, you might end up feeling like a Lana Del Rey (that is, pouty and boring). Lucky for you, we in the SparkLife Trend Homicide Division have put together this helpful primer to keep you and your friends from pushing your own Halloween identity into overkill.

TIPS FOR SINGLES

Don't be: PSY (from "Gangnam Style")

Consider the following scenario. You are at a Halloween party, dressed as chubby be-suited Korean pop sensation PSY, when a sexy zombie approaches you at the punch bowl...

Hot Zombie: Hey, what are you supposed to be, Pee Wee Herman?
You: No, actually I am chubby be-suited Korean pop sensation PSY?
HoZo: Oh?
You: Yeah?
HoZo: Oh.
You: Yeah.
HoZo: …'cause you just look like some guy in a suit.
You: Yes. That is who PSY is.
HoZo: Oh…..... k bye then.
[leaves]
You: FOREVER ALOOOOOONE!!!!

Don't let this very common scenario happen to you.

Instead be: PSY's invisible horse (from "Gangnam Style")

This is an easy fix—just fabricate a papier-mâché PSY doll to attach to your back and/or neck, then let that chubby puppet sucka ride you straight into Snogvember (see what I did there? cuz your costume will be so unique/brilliant you will be BURIED IN MAKE OUTS like a CHILEAN MINER…OF MAKE OUTS).

If you lack the time/resources to construct a DIY PSY simply wear your invisibility cloak and gallop around town neighing "oh, sexy lady!" indiscriminately. If you lack an invisibility cloak simply tag yourself in the empty backgrounds of a bunch of your friends' Halloween pics and say you were actually there.

Costume saved, right? Well here's some more #realtalk for you viral music fans…

Don't be: Gotye (from the last two minutes of "Somebody I Used To Know")

That is, covered in silly cubist body paint and screaming about being cut off in traffic or whatever. Predictable! Played out! Angst is so early 2k12. If you're gonna be viral/trendy this October do it right...

Instead be: Gotye (from the FIRST two minutes of "Somebody I Used To Know")

That is, naked and Australian. Congrats: You just won Halloween.

NEXT.

Don't be: Mitt Romney

Whether or not his Frankensteinian forehead strikes fear in your heart's ballot, a Mittens mask is just too obvious a choice for this year's masquerade. Wanna lampoon Romney's purported policies? Then dress as one!

Instead be: Homeless Big Bird

Show the world the tragedy that would be a Big Bird evicted from Sesame Street. Behold the gutter-bound behemoth, limping sing-along-deficient toward the candy bowl: molting, mottled, addicted to "seed." Unlike Oscar, this American tragedy cannot be contained by a single silver rubbish bin. Unlike Elmo, no amount of Christmas tickles can bring him warmth.

This costume idea is brought to you by the letter "D"… for "Disgraceful."

TIPS FOR COUPLES AND GROUPS:

Don't be: Ana and Christian from 50 Shades of Grey

Here's a joke for you—What's the difference between wearing a boring gray suit on Halloween and earning $1.3 million a week from erotic Twilight fanfiction?

Your children won't shame you forever when you tell them you wore a boring gray suit on Halloween.

(swag)

But in all fairness, this is a pretty tempting costume option considering all you need to pull it off is a starched three-piece suit (for him) and some leather whips/harnesses (for her), both of which come free with deluxe editions of the book. So where's the creativity, huh? Fortunately, with a little imagination you can turn all your friends 50 Shades of Jealous and act out some compelling E.L. James fanfic in one inspired crack of your bullwhip.

Instead be: Ana and Christian from 50 Shades of Grey…10 years from now

He is in prison.

She is in therapy (or maybe on reality TV).

Never the twain shall meet.

Finally…

Don't be: The Avengers

I mean, unless you want to match energy with a bunch of 6-year-olds this year. And—no offense—I'm not sure you've got the metabolism to keep that sugar high kickin' all night.

Instead be: Joss Whedon fanboys

Gather a hunched, bespectacled posse and scamper around your local cinema/used book trader looking for "easter eggs." Accessorize with the Buffy box set, your Firefly spec script, and carpel tunnel. Talk loudly about how the new Batman was "derivative" or "not Nolan's best effort." Complain when Halloween night is canceled after 12 hours.

We did our part. How are YOU gonna make your Halloween garb 50 Shades of Original this year?

Topics: Life
Tags: halloween, costumes, lists, fail, memes, halloween 2012

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About the Author
Brandon Specktor

Brandon is a writer and humor editor at Reader's Digest magazine. He was born in Tucson, Arizona, and wants to write a paranormal Western that begins, "First the cows turned up dead." What should the rest be about? Tell him on twitter @beardspeck.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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