The best thing about starting a new school year is hope. Possibility. Dreams. The chance to start new. The chance to meet a new friend. Or, reunite with old ones. In short, anything is possible.
It is also a great time to ignite—or reignite—crushes. Crushes, new or old, make going to class a lot more fun. And since your crush is not your boyfriend or girlfriend, you can—bonus!—have multiple.
The problem becomes actually speaking to your crush. Maybe you don’t know each other. Or maybe you’ve known each other since third grade. Whatever the case, it can be difficult to strike up a conversation, flirty or not.
Here are some cool-but-not-scary topics to bring up to that cutie next to you in biology class. Happy crushing!
Comment on your teacher. Pending the teacher is not your crush’s mom, you should be able to make any sort of comment about the teacher, good or bad. This is great, because, unlike other scary topics, such as The Voice or sports, you know you both have personal experience with the topic.
Consider taking the less popular view, so you have something to debate about. For example:
You: “A lot of people think Mr. Michaels is boring, but I don’t know, I think he’s kinda cool.”
Crush: “No way, he’s super old and slow.”
You: “OK, he’s a little old, but that last project was actually pretty fun. Also he doesn’t care if we’re paying attention or passing notes.”
Crush: “Let’s make out!”*
Comment on what your crush is wearing. You don’t need to be cheesy and blindly compliment whatever he or she is wearing. What you can do is comment on the content of the shirt or something else apparent in the outfit.
You: “I didn’t know you were a Steelers / Beyonce / Law & Order: SVU / Carrot Top fan.”
Crush: “I am. Are you?”
You: “[Insert accurate and honest response here, with a follow up question, such as “Have you ever seen her in concert?” or “Are you from Pittsburgh?”]
Crush: “Yes! Let’s get married!”*
Tell a funny story. Easier said than done, but next time something weird happens to you, store the story in your noggin. Once your crush sits down, start telling the story to a friend—or if you’re feeling bold, to your crush. This will show your crush you are funny, wildly interesting, and seriously datable.
You: “Last night I got the weirdest text! Do you want to see it?”
Crush: “I guess.”
You: [Show your crush a weird text, like something from a random number that says “I hid the body, now what?”]
Crush: “That’s so funny! What did you say?”
You: [Witty response such as, “I told them that their phone would now self-destruct.”]
Crush: “I want to hide bodies with you.”*
Show your crush something completely un-ignorable and heart-melting, such as pictures of baby animals. This is a tricky one. It is best to know what appeals most to your crush, and perhaps whether he or she has any fear of small, cute, cuddly things. People tend to like these things, so it is a generally safe bet. However, if you know more about your crush, you should alter it to be most appealing and conversation-inducing.
You: “Hey, want to see something awesome?”
You: [Show crush a completely adorable picture or quick video on your phone—think baby pandas, a pile of puppies, a teeny tiny turtle, you get the picture.] “Isn’t this the best?”
Now, this could go a couple of ways. If your crush agrees, be prepared to have a couple other pictures in your arsenal. Hit your crush up with a couple more. BAM! BAM! If things are going really well, you can offer to text more to him or her. And then you’re like, practically in a relationship.
If he or she disagrees, do not fret. Ask your crush for proof. This could also turn into some great texting, emailing, and flirting via baby animals. THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES.
Whatever the case, it should have a good outcome.
Crush: “I want to make baby animals with you.”*
* results are atypical and not guaranteed
What are your best crush-talking techniques? Do you have any tips?