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The Best Pickup Lines for Math Class

The Best Pickup Lines for Math Class

By Danielle Kraese

When it comes to high school subjects, math isn’t exactly known for being conducive to romance—in fact, it’s probably the second worst class to flirt in (right under Mr. Trenton's Sex Ed class, which he teaches using homemade sock puppets). But that’s all about to change—starting now. When properly executed, these lines have the proven ability to make even Albert Einstein appear as suave and seductive as all five members of One Direction, combined AND squared. Enjoy! (And by enjoy, we mean use at your own discretion).

1. You must have been a square in a past life, cause you’ve got all the right angles—get it? Because a square has ALL right angles? Oh, you did get it? You just didn’t think it was funny? Okay, never mind.

2. If we were two angles in a triangle, I’d never get tired of complimenting you. I would probably say things like: “Wow, girl, you are so angular!” Would that kind of sentence make you love me?

3. I crunched the numbers, and it looks like you seeing Finding Nemo 3D with me is a certain event. Okay, when I say that I crunched the numbers what I really mean is that I consulted my psychic, Beatrice. It took half an hour on the phone and I had to give her my mom’s credit card info first, but she eventually told me that she definitely sees 3-dimensional talking clownfish in our future.

4. What’s the dependent variable for you getting dinner with me Friday night? The existence of flying pigs, huh? That’s REAL original.

5. The first time I saw you I lost all sense of deductive reasoning. I also left a serious trail of drool on my textbook, but I am pretty sure you didn’t see it.

6. I think there’s a positive correlation between sitting next to you and leaving embarrassing sweat stains on the armpits of my shirt. That was a compliment! Sorry, I probably should have first explained that when I’m near someone attractive, I break into a fierce and unforgiving sweat. NOW do you see how that was a compliment?

7. You’ve got more curves than a parabola. What’s that? You say a parabola only has one curve? Hmm...I did not know that. Looks like we’re going to have to start meeting up after school so you can tutor me. We’re going to really need to spend A LOT of time together to help me conquer my shortcomings in math. We’ll also need to make out.

8. Wow, you’ve got the nicest asymptote I’ve ever seen! Ow—why’d you hit me? I was talking about that one you just drew in your notebook! You must have a really steady hand, cause that’s like, one of the top 5 asymptotes in the history of asymptotes. It’s so round and plump, and it fills out your jeans just right. I kind of just want to reach over and give it a squeeze. Okay, you’re right—now I’m just talking about your butt.

What's the best math class pickup line you can come up with?

Topics: School, Life
Tags: flirting, crushes, math, funny things, pickup lines, math class, terrible pickup lines

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About the Author
Danielle Kraese

Danielle writes, performs improv, and loiters in Starbucks locations in and around New York City. When she grows up, she wants to be an author or an elephant whisperer. Or maybe both. Follow her on Twitter @DanielleKraese.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.