How to Flirt with Your Crush On the INTERNET
Oh, the fobiles of flirting online. It's so much worse than flirting in real life. At least when you hit on someone in person and they laugh at you, you can run away with dignity. But what you put on the internet stays there FOREVER, for everyone to see. To help you navigate the treacherous waters of the world-wide web, we've laid out the best and worst ways to woo your crush on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
- See what movies/TV shows/books they like and post a quote from one on their wall.
- Send them an invite to an event that just involves you and your crush going bungee jumping. If they don't have the guts to jump off a bridge with you, they are no longer crush-worthy.
- Constantly Like everything they say 2 seconds after they say it.
- Write on their wall. All the time.
- Tag them in all your photos, which you photoshopped them into.
- Tag yourself in all their photos, which you photoshopped yourself into.
- Follow them. Trust me, everyone likes to be followed.
- Reply cutely back to one of their tweets. No LOLs, JKs, hehehehes. Break out the quality wit from your flirt arsenal.
- Tweet the latest Lego action figure at them and say it looks just like them. Best compliment ever.
- Anything Anthony Weiner did.
Who uses this anymore? Get on Gchat like the rest of society. You don't have Gmail? Sorry, I can't talk to you anymore.
- Take picture of them and then put it into a flattering tint/style so they look retro and cool then post it on Facebook. 10 to 1 it will become their new profile picture within a day.
- Heart the picture of the enormous burger they had for dinner and ask where they got it...and imply that they should take you there sometime.
- Commenting on anything they take with: "Wow, you look suuuuper 80s in that picture!" The 80s is not a good decade to invoke.
- Telling them you have a Google Alert that notifies you every time they upload a picture.
- Commenting on a family photo that their dad looks waaaaaay hot in sepia.
What's the most ridiculous way you've ever flirted on the interwebs?