Nobody likes a butt-kisser, but we all know that there are things you can say that will make your school year a little better, and they just so happen to be semi-butt-kissing-sounding things. If you are lucky, your teacher rocks and these things aren't even LIES. But if they are stretches of the truth, we forgive you. Just please, nobody bring an apple AND dish out one of these compliments. That is going too far. That is incredibly awkward for everyone.
1. I was going to give you a 20% tip to compensate you for everything you've given me, but what's 20% of infinite? I KNOW I SHOULD KNOW THIS BUT OFTEN I BECOME DUMBSTRUCK AROUND YOU. That also explains the 30% on my Bio test. Dumbstruckness.
2. Hey Teach, you make me want to get out of bed in the morning after only 3 snooze button slaps. Usta be 4.
3. Where did you get those lady (or man) slacks?
4. It really bothers me when my classmates forget to ask not what their teacher can do for them but what they can do for their teacher.
5. I want to be a teacher when I grow up, but I'm afraid that after being under your tutelage, in comparison I would be a dishonor to your craft.
6. Mrs. Whatever, sometimes when you conjugate Latin verbs I think you're reading poetry. Oh, you are? Latin poetry? I had no idea. Well keep going—it's music to my ears.
7. That quiz you gave was hard enough that it was not insulting to my intelligence yet easy enough that it did not make me feel like two cents. THANK YOU FOR THAT.
8. I miss you so much on the weekends that I have renamed TGIF "TERROR GAHHHHHH I'M FREEAAAAKINGGGOUTTTTTTTT."
9. Your handwriting on the chalkboard is so captivating I can hardly focus on its substance, which I realize is a travesty. But that is another reason why I got a 30% on the Bio test.
10. The saddest part of my day? Glad you asked. It's the second I leave this classroom. The world just stops making sense.
How do you make your teacher feel like a million dollars?