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September Horoscopes!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

It's a good time to make new friends and try new things. Like, everyone is saying "jelly" instead of "jealous" now, so you can shorten it even more and just ask people if they're"jel," and then if they're "j," and then when people copy that, you can just not say anything ever. Checkmate. They will be so j. Don't try this on anyone named Jay, or you will wind up in a terrible Abbot and Costello situation that will never end. Mystery is in the air this month, and conundra are in the water, so if a suspicious-looking person approaches you and says "The seas are stormy," reply "Yet the walrus abides." Your lucky geographical location is Butt Island, Canada.

Topics: Life
Tags: astrology, horoscopes, slideshows, future, predictions, life, horoscope slideshows

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