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10 Reasons Why Autumn Kicks BUTT

10 Reasons Why Autumn Kicks BUTT

Every year, autumn arrives in a glorious blaze of crunchy leaves and apple cider, and it kicks every other season's keister. You know it, I know it. We all know it, and here's why:

1. The clothes get prettier. Summer is a time for shorts, tank tops, and sweat. When autumn rolls around, it's all about layers, kickass boots, scarves, oversized sweaters, and long knit beanies.

2. It starts getting cold. Autumn is wonderfully transitional; it's no longer so hot that you're slowly roasting in a sweaty haze, but it's not yet cold enough to start swearing unceasingly as you shovel a snow-path from your front door to the car. Mornings are brisk and the air feels like cinnamon and pea coats.

3. FALL TV SHOWS! Finally! New and returning shows alike are suddenly popping up all over the place, triggering that weird mix of ecstasy and stress as you try to juggle them all. As a rule, your favorite shows will all fall under the same time slot on the same night, forcing you to make crucial life decisions.

4. The food. The FOOD. Caramel apples, cider, pumpkin spice lattes, hot chocolate, pumpkin pies... and then Thanksgiving rolls around and we get a veritable smorgasbord of carb-filled deliciousness. Turkey and mashed potatoes cranberry sauce and stuffing... I'm already drooling, which has prompted the concern and disgust of all the other people in this coffee shop.

5. Insects start to die. I don't know what it is about bugs that makes me giddy at the thought of their inevitable doom, but it's probably because they're gross and I hate them.

6. The scenery is gorgeous. The Harvest Moon comes bursting forth. Leaves change color in an awesome palette of leafy splendor, then fall from the trees and crunch underfoot.

7. NaNoWriMo! National Novel Writing Month kicks off in November. All participating writers hold their heads high in a gesture of excitement, terror, and resignation.

8. Friday night lights! Even if you're not into football, there's something to be said for all the school spirit and mass consumption of brats and burgers at tailgate parties. There's just something magical about unifying a stadium full of people as they channel all their willpower into getting that guy with the ball over to that side of the field, so everyone can justify the deranged noises of celebration that follow.

9. Halloween! Candy corn! Haunted houses! Costumes! If nothing else, all the candy goes on sale the next day, making things so much easier for all us closeted candy hoarders. (What? I like to have a year-round stash.)

10. Suddenly you can do FALL stuff, like hayrides, pumpkin carving, apple picking, and corn mazes. Speaking of which, I once asked a farmer how often he checked to make sure no one was lost in his corn maze. He gazed pensively at the hundreds of acres of labyrinthine corn, stroked his beard, and said, "You know, it has been a while... but the screaming always dies down eventually." And if that doesn't get you in the autumn mood, I don't know what will.

Do you love fall as much as we do?

Topics: Life, Back to School
Tags: back to school, fall, halloween, autumn, seasons

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In real life, she goes by the name Courtney Gorter. This is a closely guarded secret, and you're the only one who knows about it, so be cool. You can follow her on Twitter or check out her website if you want, but it's just going to be a lot of complaining.

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