Books to Loan Your Crush (And What They Say About You)
You're in love! But you can't figure out how to express your feelings in talking, because when your crush is around all that comes out is "PLEASED TO MEET ME." So why not loan your crush a book, and let an expert on the written word say what you can't? Here's a guide to the delicate art of forcing meaningful literature on someone sexy, then standing back staring till they start to read:
The Watchmen: Graphic novels are a safe bet when you don't know whether your feelings are reciprocated. If your crush returns it to you with an "I don't feel the same way" brushoff, you can play it off like he's crazy. "It's a comic book, not a love letter!" is a pretty airtight argument, unless you follow it by showering his Vans with your tears.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower: Loaning out a romantic coming-of-age story is the literary equivalent of giving your crush a mix CD. It's also the best way to let her know your heart is full of feelings that can only be expressed through yelling at the stars. Either you're pretty sure she feels the same way, or you're fishing for heartbreak, which is really the best inspiration for your own first novel.
Wuthering Heights: Because nothing says "I want to watch DVDs in my parents' den with you" like a 19th-century tale of revenge, obsession, and doomed romance. You're an uncompromising person with a secret romantic streak, and your crush probably won your attention by 1) not brushing his hair and 2) demonstrating his sensitivity by not dying of laughter when your English teacher's chair made a fart sound.
Where the Wild Things Are: Giving your crush a favorite book from your childhood loudly says, "Let's recapture our lost youth together, then start a two-piece band called Max's Pyjamas!" You want to lie around in fields identifying constellations, then ride to the ice-cream store on the back of his bike.
Your fanfic about you and your crush starting a unicorn adoption agency in Narnia: Wow! We commend you on your bravery, while simultaneously shaking our heads in dismay. We do love what you did with Edmund Pevensie, though. That guy deserves to scoop unicorn poop forever.
Breaking Dawn: Your crush's presence so confuses you that you grabbed the first book you could find in your dad's car and shoved it at her before class. Sadly, it previously belonged to your little sister, who filled it with margin notes ranging from "Lol Jacob" to "OMG EDWARD WEDDING NITE!!!!!" You will never look your crush in the eye again.
What book would you loan to your crush? We're thinking The Fault in Our Stars might be a good one!