Alright, well, here's the deal. I don't like The Rescuers. I don't like the plot. I don't like the lack of character development. I don't like the logic. I'm not a huge fan of the animation, either. This movie has never impressed me, and maybe it's because I didn't watch it as a kid, but I tend to think that even if I'd seen it as a kid I wouldn't like it. Call me negative.
But before we zero in on this week's movie, here's what you guys thought of Winnie the Pooh:
"I love Winnie the Pooh.
For those of you who haven't seen The Rescuers, here's the world it takes place in; The Rescue Aid Society is a collection of mice from every corner of the globe that rescue...little girls. And other things. They don't ever talk about their primary directive, just, mostly, about how much they love the Rescue Aid Society. Anyway, this girl was kidnapped and two mice from the RAS have to rescue her. The girl is being used by two crooks to retrieve an ancient artifact in the swamps of Devil's Bayou, somewhere unspecified.
Here's what baffles me about this movie:
1. The mice are singing in English, right? But there's mice from all around the globe, and they're not singing in Mandarin Chinese or Tagalog. The lyrics of the song (which is fairly unoriginal) go "R-E-S-C-U-E, Rescue Aid Society," but they're also spelling that word in English. And all the words rhyme in English.
2. The Rescue Aid Society continues to make no sense to me. Do they only answer pleas made in bottles? How do they know the plight hasn't been taken care of?
3. Also: why deal with a human problem when there are so many animal problems in the world? You'd think these mice would be eager to help other non-sentient beings. What are they doing about illegal whaling? Or Brazilian deforestation?
4. Do all female Disney villains drive horribly? I mean, mostly I'm thinking this lady and Cruella De Vill...but I bet if Ursula had a Prius she'd be a pretty horrible driver too. ("I'll slow down and let you change lanes, you poor unfortunate soul, just give me your voice!")
5. So, Penny has the power to talk to animals is what I'm inducing. Why doesn't someone try to use that power of hers? It's woefully under-explored in the world of this movie; she just talks to animals, and that's that. But if someone really wanted to use for something other than her smallness, they could use her to...start a mold control company, and gather information via roaches!
6. The airport's only flight is to Devil's Bayou. Don't rodents ever want to go to places like Cleveland?
7. Madame Medusa has two pet alligators but is scared of mice? Come now.
8. Why do the crooks even need Penny? Couldn't they just excavate the diamond? Or make the tunnel wider so they could get through?
9. Why do the crocodiles suddenly turn on Medusa? This movie is so confusing!
Have you seen The Rescuers? What did you think?
Image courtesy of B&N.com