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Never Fear, the Friwards are Here!

Never Fear, the Friwards are Here!

By Jennifer Grudziecki

It's come to our attention that a few of you noticed that the Friday Awards were missing last week. Here's what we're thinking went through your heads:

HOW COULD YOU SPARKITORS BETRAY US LIKE THIS?

WE TRUSTED YOU AND YOU LET US DOOOWWWWNNN!!!

The world is coming to an end!

How will I live another day without a Friward?

What could be more important to the Sparkitors than giving us imaginary trophies???

How can I swallow an entire wheel of cheese?

Okay, that last one might have been what we're thinking right now...But the truth is, guys, we just can't tell you where the Friwards were last week. Well, we could...but then we'd have to kill you. It's just top secret like that. And it definitely, in no way WHATSOEVER, involved Chuck Norris, a large penguin, and two very old golf balls. Nope, definitely not.

Really.

But we promise we'll make it up to you. How? BY DOING ANOTHER DOUBLE FRIWARDS. With no further ado, on to the celebration!

Happy Birthday to Caracupcakes, YellowSamuraiRanger13, and ChocolateyFingers.

Congrats to MightAsWellDance, daisymay236, gotstagecrew, and xdream&dox, who all figured out the secret message, which was made of ninjas. (Yes, that is totally a real thing. We’d tell you to ask the ninjas, BUT YOU CAN’T SEE THEM.)

The Our Feelings Exactly Award goes to amyga17 for her comment on the VGHS post:

“If Zachary Levi's in it, it's worth watching”

The Super Robotic Poet Award goes to Katt223 for this comment on the robot poetry post:

"Rose flowers have red pigment, except the ones that are other colors, such as pink, white, or yellow.
Violets are for the most part purple.
Sugar induces the tongue to sense sweetness, which I imagine is as pleasant as warm fuel on a cool day.
You have the personality trait of sweetness, which is entirely different from the taste kind.
That is my best impression of robot poetry. I hope it doesn't fail."

And LoOAs go to the following Sparklers...

Queenie_kay for this comment on the end of summer post:

“My couch indent is so deep it could be a swimming pool. And the ice-pop wrappers are the diving boards!”

Quentle for this comment on the bummer summer post:

“The other day, I scratched myself with a safety pin on my arm, and it kind of looks like a big gash. I'll just say I was attacked my a mountain lion-raccoon hybrid and I nearly died.

Yeah, totally believable.”

Augustnotapril for her comment on the VGHS post:

“I don't know if I would want to go there, I would probably not make it out alive. I might be chased by little ghosties while changing classes and the teacher might vaporize the "problem students". However, there would be some pretty catchy music playing. The Mario theme song would be a better fire alarm sound.”

ArinFlameSeer for this comment on the happy Monday post:

“Hello, Monday. You killed my weekend. Prepare to die.”

Browniepapillion for this comment on the awkward recap:

“I wonder what "rose pedals" are. Are they pedals from a rose flower's bicycle? A rose flower's paddleboat? A rose flower's moped? And wouldn't little chunky pieces of spiked plastic be...well, a little uncomfortable to have sex while lying upon?”

Svulli for this comment on the daydreaming post:

“I can't stop imagining everyone thinking "YES. I can relate to this! I've been daydreaming for ages about the first time I'll kiss my pillow on a trampoline, right after it hands me a giant red sea creature!"”

Caracupcakes for this comment on the kissing too much post:

“Oh gosh. This happens to me all of the time with my ridiculously good looking British boyfriend that has a pet unicorn. We kiss all of the time while riding into the sunset on a hippogriff. This one time, in Narnia, we kissed so much that our lips were bleeding glitter! What's that you say? You think that this is a lie and that I am really NBK? Excuse me as I go check on my thirty cats....”

Timey_wimey_stuff for this comment on the dos and donts of back to school outfits post:

“Uniforms: Solving all your back to school outfit choices since... whenever they were invented.”

ShazamBam for this comment:

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, whatever you hit, call it the target.”

Wallflower19 for this comment, which is truly hilarious out of context (trust us; just try a mental image):

“DON'T EAT YOUR LAPTOP! Trust me, it tastes nothing like cream cheese..”

And Notapurplemonkey for this comment on the pets post:

“Hey now, my dog is offended by this assertion of his conventionality. He hates dog food, loves cucumbers, only sleeps on distressed/vintage blankets, and only listens to "indie folk hip-hop". (I'm not sure I believe this is a real thing but he has teeth so I don't argue)”

Congrats Friampions! Keep the comments coming!

Topics: Life, The Internets
Tags: awards, sparklers, the friday awards, sparklife, comments, friwards, friday awards

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About the Author
Jennifer Grudziecki

Jennifer Grudziecki is a writer, intern, and soon-to-be college graduate living in New York City. Her life goal is to be a space pirate, and maybe to write a book along the way. Follow her on Twitter @JennyGrudzy or on Tumblr at www.jennigrudzi.tumblr.com/

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.