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August Horoscopes

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Aries, but a non-gift horse is fair game. If you find a stray horse digging through your garbage, you can look at it any way you want. They say that the only gift is a portion of thyself, so if you do receive any presents, make sure they aren't all full of your teeth or hair. For the sake of convenience, consider sewing a pocket onto your sock and calling it a psocket. Explain laboriously that the P is silent when you describe this invention, which you must now do to everyone you meet. Your lucky HTTP status code is 404 (Not Found). Your lucky duck is Quackula.
Topics: Life
Tags: horoscopes, fate, life, horoscope slideshows, august horoscopes, destiny

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