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10 Back to School Mistakes

10 Back to School Mistakes

By RG Daniels

SUMMER'S GONNA END SOON! We understand you might be having some of that back-to-school anxiety. Here comes another year of babbling teachers and bad pizza days at the cafeteria. Well, lucky for you we came up with a list of common back to school mistakes you can avoid. It's 10 looooong months of learning. Get off on the right foot and prevent these from happening:

1. Asking for homework on the first day. You might be saying to yourself, This is the year I get on the Dean's List and begin my journey to winning the Nobel Prize with an equation that turns dirty diapers into energy efficient fuel. Slow down. Your ambition is admirable, but your timing is terrible. Settle in on the first day. Quietly make your moves and let your teacher do all the assigning. If you really wanna make an impression THAT BAD, then keep your peers out of it and speak to your teacher after class.

2. Purchasing a Teletubbies backpack. There are plenty of options and nobody think it's cute. There is no statement being made here except for how ridiculous a teenager looks wearing a backpack meant for 4-year-olds.  Speaking of which, don't…

3. Dressing like a maniac. We know your style defines you and the clothes you wear are what you scream to the world.  However, this is the first day of school. Know your limits.  Avoid wearing an astronaut helmet with DayGlo overalls and bedazzled sneakers—this ain't a Bassnectar concert.

4. Packing a smelly lunch. Let's stick to the basics here: sandwich, snack, drink. This is not the time to show your school how good your grandmother's onion and anchovy pie is. We like a good home cooked meal as much as anyone, but there are risks when you crack open a can of SPAM and sprinkle garlic powder over it. The first day of school should be devoid of any possibility of clearing out the lunchroom 'cuz of your lunch (or your breath).

5. Showing off your new skill of singing "Call Me Maybe" in Swedish. You had a fun time on your vacation. Unfortunately, not everyone went with you. There's no harm in sharing a few stories of your travels, but it gets kinda weird and creepy if you start pretending you're actually from that country.

6. Farting in class on the first day. In case you were wondering what the quickest way to get a nickname like GasMan or StinkFish or The Fart Knight Rises then here it is. Only a select few can get away with this maneuver and still have it be hilarious. But it's an exclusive club (like the Navy SEALs) and unless you have a reputation for being a class clown we strongly advise against it.

7. Bringing in your cauliflower sculpture of Benjamin Franklin. You may have spread your artistic wings over the summer. Maybe you went away to an arts camp or took a few classes at the college nearby. The first day of school is not the time to show off your skills, though. It's a time for everyone to get reacquainted and forcing your exhibits on to people could be a bit risky. We applaud your ability to recreate the founding fathers with produce, but give it a day or two before presenting it to the world.

8. Dousing yourself in that new perfume/cologne you bought. This is big. You could be tempted to completely shower yourself in a fragrance so strong it makes flowers blossom when you walk by and animals land on your arm like Snow White. That only happens in fairy tales, though. Take it easy on the scents and you'll find a lot more people willing to stand around you.

9. Clipping your toenails on the bus. Um yeah, how 'bout you set the alarm clock a little earlier and not do that.

10. Kidnapping Justin Beiber, tying him up in the trunk of your car, and showing your classmates. Right. Horrible idea from beginning to finish.

Topics: Life, Back to School
Tags: summer, back to school, school, fall, bts

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About the Author
RG Daniels

RG Daniels is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. He likes ‘90s one-hit wonders, breakfast for dinner, and koala bears. He is currently on Level 163 in Candy Crush.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.