The Olympics start today! Lucky for you, we're here with all of these facts that are so true, you might actually die from the true-ness of them. Well, probably not, but you could be hospitalized.
- Melvin Dimperfunk was the first guy to start chanting "U-S-A!" at the Olympics. However, he was the only one to do so because he was sitting in the section of Austrian fans.
- The sand pit that is used during the long jump was originally filled with crabs. Whoever won gold in the event had the option to keep the crabs, which he could then cook for dinner or shove down other athletes shorts in triumph.
- The Olympics were originally called "The I'm-Better-Than-You Games," but the name was changed when the prime minister of Morocco complained that he had trouble pronouncing the title.
- The bronze medal awarded to athletes who finish in 3rd place is actually made of dark chocolate and raisins.
- During the opening ceremony of the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, a dolphin was hired to perform the National Anthem alongside Dolly Parton; however, the dolphin stormed offstage when it realized Dolly was wearing the same dress.
- White Castle is the official fast food of the Summer Olympics, Pepto Bismol is the official tummy ache medicine, and Charmin is the official toilet paper.
- Doris Goldberg holds the Olympic record for jinxing gymnasts on the parallel bars for an astonishing 761 sneezes, coughs, and voodoo curses uttered each time they attempt to stick a landing.
- The USA Men's Basketball team in 1992 consisted of Michael Jordan, "Magic" Johnson, and several other top athletes. The team also consisted of Carl, the best towel boy the world has ever seen, who had the ability to hand out towels and stand by the doors of the locker room.
- Andre du Souffle of France was born with an abnormally long right arm. He has been credited with inventing the pole vaulting event after using that arm to jump over fences to escape angry dogs.
- For the first time in history, this year's Summer Olympics in London will feature a cyborg athlete from Canada. Its name is FlexTron2 and it will compete in the Individual Cyborg Weight Lifting event. It is expected to win gold.
- It is illegal to make fun of horses at the Summer Olympics unless they're really, really, really funny.
- Argentina was banned from the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney after filling the pools with ranch dressing during the 1996 Summer Olympics. The ban was lifted, though, when the Olympic Committee Chairman declared that ranch dressing is "pretty frikkin' good with fries."
What's your favorite Olympics fact?