Recently, Sparkler sydney8771 unleashed a brilliant invention upon SparkLife: THE NAME GAME. She's crafted four spectacular posts thus far (1, 2, 3, and 4) and because I am nothing if not a popularity-obsessed copy-cat, I decided to steal her genius idea and write a Name Game post of my own. Why did I choose superheroes, instead of, say, "What's Your Salad Name?" Well, it's because there are only three types of salad (Egg, Caesar, and Egg-Ceaser), obviously. And besides, these are trying times, and Gotham City/Metropolis/Hogwarts/the world needs you! So cover yourself in butter (it makes squeezing into a spandex unitard much easier) and ready your marshmallow shooter: it's BUTT-KICKIN' TIME.
(I should probably mention that by participating in this Name Game, you are essentially signing a blood oath that contractually obligates you to BECOME a superhero. You will need billions of dollars, a "cover" hobby (spelunking should do quite nicely), and an affable English butler brimming with dry wit. GO.)
Note: All names are gender neutral and structured as: Adjective Name the Noun. For example, my superhero name is Superb Clark the Lobster Person. SEE, ISN'T THIS FUN?!
Pick the adjective that corresponds with the date of your birth (if you were born on July 17th, you'd pick #17):
1: Ferocious
2: Medium
3: Fancy
4: Auspicious
5: Explosive
6: Cosmopolitan
7: Glorious
8: Flaming
9: Buttery
10: Rakish
11: Peaceable
12: Sparkly
13: Befuddled
14: Dapper
15: Friendly
16: Winsome
17: Impervious
18: Excellent
19: Squeamish
20: Quotable
21: Illustrious
22: Amazing
23: Clunky
24: Delicious
25: Superb
26: Large
27: Hungry
28: Victorious
29: Thoughtful
30: Homely
31: Dangerous
Pick the name that corresponds with your favorite candy:
M&Ms: Lionel
Peanut M&Ms: Klaus
Reeses: Winston
Snickers: Hermione
3 Musketeers: Dennis
Junior Mints: Clark
Starburst: Dumbledore
Skittles: Larry
Sour gummy worms: Greg
Gummy bears: Stanley
Twix: Eugene
Milky Way: Lance
Nerds: Elizabeth Bennet
Twizzlers: Melvin
I'm allergic to candy: Katniss
This post is moronic: Darcy
I love all candy so much that I would literally marry it if I could: Leopold
My favorite candy isn't on this list, butt-clown: Phil
Pick the noun that corresponds with the first letter of your middle name (if you don't have a middle name, use your last name):
A: Lumberjack Hero
B: Moose
C: Un-Extinct Dinosaur
D: Boy Wizard
E: Cat Wrangler
F: Bandit
G: Shark Lawyer
H: Dude
I: College-Educated Baby
J: Human Robot
K: Bulldozer
L: Laser of Love
M: Hipster Kid
N: Eagle
O: Sponge of Doom
P: Lobster Person
Q: Torpedo
R: Pirate Accountant
S: Waffler
T: Cuddle Bear
U: Burger of Ham
V: Iron Fist
W: Ginger
X: Boomerang
Y: Dweeb
Z: Lord of Dance
BONUS ROUND!!! To discover your superpower, choose the month of your birth:
January: Glaring pointedly at your enemies
February: Speed-reading
March: Time travel (in the sense that you can walk pretty quickly)
April: Burping the entirety of "Call Me Maybe"
May: Coming up with clever puns
June: Employing the phrase "Great googily moogily!"
July: Turning your thumbs invisible
August: Quoting the movie Mean Girls with startling accuracy
September: Eating 200 Hot Tamales without barfing
October: Constructing crossbows using only decorative tape and a toilet paper roll
November: Twirling really fast in a circle
December: Frequently winning at Rock, Paper, Scissors
What's your superhero name and power?
Topics: Life
Tags: names, superheroes, superpowers, fun things, funny things, powers, name game
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