Ice Age: Continental Drift was recently released, meaning the Ice Age franchise now has four movies. Whether the world needs four films filled with an ornery woolly mammoth and a dim-witted sloth is a matter of opinion, but I can't help wondering if sequels of a few other kid flicks wouldn't be more interesting.
1. Matilda Goes to College
Thirteen-year-old Matilda is finally going to college, but higher education poses a lot of troubling questions, like "Why is everyone getting so mad just because I used my mind powers to float hottie Todd into my dorm room last night?"
2. FernGully 4: There Are Only Three Trees Left
We told you to recycle. Now look what happened.
3. Charlotte's Web: Some Late Pig
20-something Fern deals with the loss of her beloved pig while balancing life, love, and the out of control spider population on her family's farm.
4. Jumanji: Somebody Cover It In Cement
Yet ANOTHER pair of kids are nearly killed after they play the game that washes up on shore because the kids who played the game before them (and the kids before them and the kids before them) didn't understand how water currents work.
5. The Little Vampire: Werewolves, and Zombies and Swamp Things Oh My
Poor Tony keeps moving into places with some serious mystical energy, from his dorm room with the mummy in the closet to his first apartment that seems to be home to a couple of friendly werewolves. Or, Tony had his first psychotic break as a child when he "saw vampires" and any subsequent movies are new delusions. Will the audience ever find out the truth (maybe at the end of the sixth one)?
6. Finding Nemo 4: Too Many Grandfish
Remember how many brothers and sisters Nemo had before the toothy fish attack? Well Nemo is all grown up, and he and his wife kept their little eggs safe, meaning Marlin now has a couple hundred grandfish to worry about.
7. Hercules: Rethinking Mortality
Hercules is pushing eighty, and between his arthritis and his baldness he's really beginning to regret giving up his seat on Mount Olympus. When Meg dies he calls his dad and asks for a second chance to be godly. Zeus agrees to think about it.
8. Mary Poppins: Is Caught in a Down Draft
Traveling exclusively by umbrella can get dangerous, and when Mary Poppins crash-lands on a rooftop, teenagers Jane and Michael nurse their favorite nanny back to health with laughter, which is the best medicine (unless you have six broken ribs, in which case rest and painkillers are the best medicine).
9. Tuck Everlasting: Still Here
The Tucks have survived a zombie apocalypse, a rapture, and a asteroid colliding with the earth. They spend their days hanging out with their pet cockroaches, trying to ignore Jesse's stories about the one who got away (two thousand years ago).
10. The Land Before Time 10^10
It turns out dinosaurs were never completely extinct and in the year 2012 the immortal Little Foot, Cera, Spike, Ducky, and Petrie are chilling in a cave in Central Park. Don't worry though, they just want to sing with you.
Which of your favorite kids movies would you like to see turned into a series?