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10 Signs Your Date Is Off To a Bad Start

10 Signs Your Date Is Off To a Bad Start

By Melissa Albert

We've all heard of the five-second rule, but what about the 60-second first-date rule? Because sometimes a minute is all it takes to know that it will also be your last date. Beware these certain signs of date doom:

1. When he hugged you, he said "Wow, you smell just like my mom!" Then he tried to fix the situation by explaining that his mom smells awesome.

2. You just received a text from her that says "S.O.S." When you asked her about it, she told you it was meant for someone else.

3. He's just announced his intentions to live-tweet the date event. And he definitely used the term "date event."

4. She seems vaguely disappointed that you showed. "No, I'm really glad that you did! I just didn't think that you would." She then begrudgingly asks the waiter to bring a second chair.

5. He's carrying a bedazzled album titled "Brad's Achievements!" He wants you to look it over before your date begins, in order to better appreciate how lucky you are.

6. She pulled up in a sidecar, attached to a motorcycle driven by another guy, who's now watching you through the restaurant window. He was introduced to you as "my best friend, Crazy Eyes."

7. His grandma doesn't like you. You know this because she told you, while chaperoning your dinner date from the next table.

8. He hands you a note that you're "not allowed to read till the end of our date." When you secretly open it in the bathroom, it's a handmade coupon for one free makeout session. And it's expired.

9. The ticket taker, the guy in the row behind you, and the dude selling concessions are all her exes. You deduce that none of these relationships ended well after she sniffs the popcorn you bought her, then throws it in the trash "just to be safe."

10. He refuses to go into the restaurant you picked, because "No shirt, no shoes, no service" is a direct challenge to his lifestyle choices. And the restaurant manager frowns on ferrets.

Have you ever been on a date that you knew was doomed from the start?

Topics: Life
Tags: guides, dating, awkward situations, first dates, funny things

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About the Author
Melissa Albert

Melissa Albert reads books, worries about other people’s dogs (they look thirsty), and eats horrible candy for fun and profit. When not wearing her extremely tasteful Sparkitor hat, she’s an editor for the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. You can find her on Twitter @mimi_albert, or in the hot pretzel section of your local cafeteria.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.