Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You certainly have a way with the opposite sex, Scorpio, but it's scorpion kind of way: it stings, and it belongs in the desert. You may need to de-stress a little and work on your demeanor. Don't eat any more batteries, stop saying "You sure are" every time anyone mentions Idaho, and go to sleep in a hammock. Check to see if you own the hammock first, or at least are not at the mall. Your cheesy 1920s gangster name is Sterling Metallurgy. Your lucky flightless bird is the Lord Howe Woodhen.