Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Idle hands are the devil's workshop, Taurus, which means that if you're bored, you may as well be setting criminals on fire. If you must get up to some shenanigans, at least make them memorable; for example, trip your football coach off a cliff, then smirk and say "That's what I call... flying coach," and slap on some cool shades. (Make sure you were not already wearing cool shades, or you will look silly as you are being imprisoned.) Either way, make good use of your cheesy 1920s gangster name, which is Sullivan Harrison Mulligan. Your lucky flightless bird is the Gough Island Moorhen.