How much do we really know about our country's Independence Day, aside from the fact that we all get the day off in order to eat outdoors and nearly set ourselves on fire? Casually drop these lil' tidbits into your next conversation and win friends, enemies and long, odd stares in your general direction.
1) John Hancock was the first and only person to sign the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. Everyone else later tried to jack his swag.
2) At least six other websites use this website as their only source for "Fun Facts about Fourth of July."
3) Both Thomas Jefferson and James Madison died on July 4, 1826. As the tale goes: if you go into your bathroom at midnight on July 4, fill your sink with water and repeat "Jefferson, Madison" three times, the ghost of Rutherford B. Hayes will appear in your mirror and he will complain about why no one ever remembers him.
4) Betsy Ross has a horribly out-of-date Internet presence.
5) Independence Day marks the first time an American (a one William Smith, Esq., the "Crowned Fresh Prince of Bel Air") punched an alien straight in its alien face and said, "Welcome to Earth."
6) Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence in under three weeks, the same amount of time it took us to write this blog post.
7) Almost 1 in 3: The chance that the hot dogs and pork sausages consumed on the Fourth of July originated in Iowa. No one in Iowa seems to know what goes into hot dogs and sausages, or they respectfully decline to comment.
8) Bald eagles are the most judgmental of all the birds.
9) Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed, so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road.
10) The scope of the celebrations for Independence Day was first described by John Adams in a letter to Abigail (his wife). He mentions "pomp and parade, with shows, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations." Turns out, he was describing his own funeral. John Adams is a soothsayer.
11) Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be a Turkey. He said the bald eagle is a bird of bad moral character, the turkey is a more respectable bird.
12) The English word for "barbecue" is actually lifted from the Arawak Indians, the indigenous people of the West Indies. Their "barbacoa" was a method of slow-cooking meat over a fire. Today, our "barbecue" also involves cooking meat, and "barbacoa" is available at Chipotle. Long live freedom!
3) FACT AND URBAN LEGEND!
5) MOVIE QUOTE!
6) PUTTING MY LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE!
7) GROSS BUT SO GOOD!
9) KATY PERRY (FICTION)!