In her EIGHT-MINUTE LONG, internet-baiting extravaganza of a music video, Lana del Rey plays Marilyn Monroe and Jackie Kennedy to A$AP Rocky's JFK. The results are bonkers. We are riveted.
Here are 15 reasons we can't stop playing this video:
1. Lana's face. It's so plasticky.
2. Lana's eyelashes. They're so spidery.
3. Lana's nails. They're so glorious!
4. The Marilyn tribute. Lana wisely includes the best part ("Thanks, Mr. President, for all the things you've done; the battles that you've won, the way you deal with US Steel and our problems by the ton—we thank you so much. Everybody!"). Is this Lana's sly shoutout to APUSH nerds? Probably not, but we're going to pretend it is.
5. A$AP Rocky. He's a certified babe, and he's about the same size as Lana, which is so cute.
6. The kids. Could they be any more painfully adorable, please?
7. The lion skin rug.
8. The outfits! A head scarf and big sunnies for driving in the convertible. A red dress for patriotic beach-strolling with your husband. A baby blue shift dress for being depressed and caressing dead animal skins. A white one-piece for smoldering on the balcony. Headbands! Teased hair! We'll take it all, please!
9. The birthday cake. Three layers, pink and yellow roses, white frosting—it's the Platonic ideal of a birthday cake.
10. The brain-dead lyrics. "Money is the reason we exist; everybody knows it, it's a fact (kiss kiss)." God, that's deep. *sarcasm hand*
11. The beautiful lyrics. "Red, white, blue is in the sky. Summer's in the air and baby heaven's in your eyes." Happy Fourth, everyone!
12. The boozy, smoky brunch.
13. The vibe. Summer, picnics, Martha's Vineyard, Instagram, eyeliner, pearls, cake, snuggling, dancing. Yup.
14. The message. This LA Times writer writes, "Though there are lovingly framed shots of A$AP Rocky and Del Rey as our nation's first interracial couple in the White House, there's no attempt to show us the actual true-to-life ramifications of such roles in the view of some of the American public...Ms. Del Ray isn't making much of a point here." Fair enough, and we agree, but it's still nice to see an interracial couple in the White House, even if that couple is fictional.
15. The questions. Still, the video makes little sense. Why is Lana Marilyn AND Jackie? Why is she lurking behind those flowers like a creeper? Why is she getting low like that, when presumably this is taking place in the 1960s, before average girls danced like strippers? Why does she look constipated during the assassination scene? And above all, why can't we stop watching?
What do you think of this video?