Sparklers, what are you doing reading this article right now? You should be out with your friends doing all those fun things that I (and your fellow Sparklers) came up with earlier this week. What’s that? You’re bored, broke, AND you don’t have any friends?
Well that’s just tragic.
But I know where you’re coming from. Some days your friends are all away or working or nonexistent, and your mom took the car, so you’re trapped in the house hitting the refresh button on Facebook. That’s why there’s the Awesomely Awesome List of Things to do When You’re Stuck at Home Alone:
(I’m warning you all right now, some of these are pretty awful. But bored people can’t be choosers, as the old saying goes. Or poor people…close enough.)
- Stare at a light bulb. This was the first thing that came up when I Googled “things to do when you’re bored.” DON’T actually do this one—I feel like it won’t cure your boredom…just make you blind.
- Go through your brother’s collection of video games until you find the most violent one. Play it.
- Follow your cat around for an entire day. Admit it, you secretly wonder what your cat does when you’re not around.
- Write a short story about what your cat does when you’re not around. If it’s really lame, “embellish” a few details.
- Do your hair and makeup and get dressed up like you’re going out somewhere. Don’t actually go anywhere.
- Print out a bunch of pictures of you and your friends and look around your room for mementos (movie tickets, etc.). Turn them into a scrapbook or poster to bring back to school with you.
- Get to know your 300 or so “friends” by creeping through their old Facebook photos. Don’t feel bad about it afterward.
- Start a Tumblr or Twitter account. Make posts for every insignificant detail of your day.
- Paint something.
- Answer questions on Yahoo Answers. Claim to be an expert in Fromology (the study of cheeses).
- Invent an incredibly complex game. Convince your friends to play it with you when you see them again. Make up the rules as you go along—that's what they get for not being around.
- Go on a Wikipedia Scavenger hunt. Start by looking up the first thing that comes to your mind, then only click on other Wikipedia links. I wound up reading about carnivorous plants when I should have been writing this article.
- Make a fort in your living room out of couch cushions and blankets. Dub yourself president of a made-up secret society and only allow in people who can guess the password. Allow your cat to join: it knows the password, it just can't say it.
- Re-read a book. What’s good once is good a second time, especially if it kills a few hours.
- Make a four course meal with whatever you have in your house right now. Get creative.
- Play the Sims (or any other virtual-life game). It’s sort of like having friends only not.
- Clean your room. Okay, you’re not going to enjoy it, but it needs to be done. Just think about how good you’ll feel when you can see the floor again.
- Watch a Spanish Soap Opera. This is much better if you don’t actually know any Spanish. Try to explain what happened in the show to your mom when she gets home.
- Make a pet rock. Make more pet rocks to be friends with your pet rock. When all your pet rock’s friends are busy, comfort your pet rock. Allow him to join your secret society, too.
- Make a list of things to do when you’re bored and post it in the comments section below!
Anyone else ready to go back to school yet?