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Totally Failsafe Summer Pickup Lines For Winners!

Totally Failsafe Summer Pickup Lines For Winners!

By Janet Manley

Take it from the seasoned SparkLife staff: summertime is the perfect time to make the move on that special neon-hotpants-wearing rollerblader/hula hooper you've been admiring from afar. But how to close the deal? Try one of our patented pickup lines, which, if we cannot give them an iron-clad guarantee, have at least been road-tested by our mobile pickup crew.

Have you been hitting the gym? Because this air is conditioned.

You make my heart slip ‘n slide.

Do you love hot summer knights? Because I’m killer at Dungeons and Dragons.

Were you born at an amusement park? Because after being with you I feel dizzy, then sick, then excited, then hungry for funnel cake, then I want to do it all over again.

What's a nice girl like you doing on a sandbar like this?

Put on some SPF 30+, so I can get to irradiating you.

Do you have water wings? Because I think heaven is missing an angel who can't swim very well.

The next time someone tells you to put on a life preserver, remember: I’m a registered beach patroller, and I'm one size fits all.

Ignore the RayBans—there’s nothing shady about me, sunshine.

I'm going to put my car keys inside my shoe on the beach, where no one would ever think to find them, and let you drive me crazy, girrrl.

You know what I always say: Make love, not Nerf war.

I know you should wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming, but how long do I have to wait after feasting on your contemporary good looks before I can ask you out?

I know I'm not supposed to put you on a pedestal, so will you please come down off the high-dive tower?

I’ve been watching you kayak, and I’m totally in oar of you.

You had me at “Hel---lllp! A shark ate my surfboard!”

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Or just a stream of sweat pouring down the inside of your thighs and round the backs of your knees thanks to 90% relative humidity?

How did you bust a move on your summer crush?

Topics: Life, Advice
Tags: dating, summer, lists, pickup lines, nerf, heaven

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About the Author
Janet Manley

Janet is the offspring of a mid-sized kangaroo and a stately gum tree. She grew up under a hole in the ozone layer, which probably means she can survive in outer space. She tweets @janetmanley

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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